It is 2018. Everything is weird and awful. From CNN:
Organizers are selling tickets for the former White House press secretary's July 24 launch event, with prices starting at $30 and going up to as much as $1,000.
Imagine explaining to your spouse and/or partner that you just dropped a grand out of the house account to go to Sean Spicer’s book event. For that price, Spicey better bring his own shrubbery to hide in. But, there’s more, isn’t there, Ghost of Johnny Olson?
In addition to food and drinks, the event will feature a question and answer session with Fox News contributor Katie Pavlich, during which, according to the event's online description, Spicer will talk about "becoming an author, his days in the White House, and lessons learned." Prospective attendees are being directed to a website where they are presented with four ticket options: "Press Corp" for $30 which includes admission and a copy of Spicer's book, "The Briefing: Politics, the Press and the President"; "Assistant Press Secretary" for $250 which includes two tickets and signed books; "Deputy Press Secretary" for $500 which includes two tickets, admission to a VIP reception, and signed books; and "Press Secretary (Host Committee)" for $1,000 which includes being part of the host committee, four tickets, personalized books, and admission to the VIP reception.
Wow. A chance to watch noted philosopher and public intellectual Katie Pavlich ask Sean Spicer questions! And the VIP reception! More high-end wingnuts than a MAACO outlet.
And, for your $1,000, you can hear Spicer create the chicken salad of poetry out of the chicken shit of his former job. The Guardian has excerpts.
“I don’t think we will ever again see a candidate like Donald Trump,” Spicer writes. “His high-wire act is one that few could ever follow. He is a unicorn, riding a unicorn over a rainbow. His verbal bluntness involves risks that few candidates would dare take. His ability to pivot from a seemingly career-ending moment to a furious assault on his opponents is a talent few politicians can muster.”
A unicorn, riding a unicorn, over a rainbow?
A thousand bucks to see the lead singer in a Moody Blues tribute band?
Everything is weird and awful.
Respond to this post on the Esquire Politics Facebook page here.
Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976. He lives near Boston and has three children.
