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Friday 5: Homeownership is fun, I swear. Here's what I've learned after 3 weeks

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Emma Vatnsdal / The Forum

FARGO — Hello, fine Fargo Folks! It's time for the Aug. 23 edition of Friday 5!

This week's little spiel is brought to you by my latest adventure: homeownership.

As I have said in the past, I have entered the phase of my life where I am known as an "adult." I use that term loosely because, well, I still beg my mom to make appointments for me and when she won't, I just refuse to do it. (I haven't gone to the dentist in over a year because I couldn't make an appointment online. It's really an epidemic.)

However, being an adult means making adult decisions. Like making your own appointments and cooking instead of eating out all the time — things I am actively trying to work on because, like I said, I am an "adult."

In the past I have mentioned my leap into adulthood with my decision to buy a house. Well, you lovely folks, I did it. On Aug. 2, I signed my name approximately 700 times and became the owner of a wonderful 720-square-foot home with a huge, fully-fenced backyard and a detached single-car garage.

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Now I am slowly but surely attempting to figure out this whole "I own a house" thing. Sure, I no longer have to pay rent, but now I have a mortgage. And it makes me feel old. I also have to think of things like home insurance and what to do if a pipe bursts and uff da, this is going to be an adventure.

Settle in, because yah girl bought a house and I'm about to tell you five things I've learned since I became Emma Vatnsdal: Homeowner.

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Aug. 2, 2019: The day yah girl's debt increased by... a lot. Happy Closing Day! Emma Vatnsdal / The Forum

It's all about the money, honey

First off, things are expensive. Like holy snot, why do things have to cost so much?!

The past three weeks have opened my eyes; I spend waaaay too much money. Decent, non-scratchy sheets are $40 or more, a dang duvet is over $50 (the cheapest I could find for what I wanted) and the internet is just aggressive with prices. Why? Why do things need to cost more than an arm and a leg? Side note, completely unrelated, does anyone know how much I could get for my left arm? I am right handed...

Shoutout to Forum Communications for the paycheck. You're making all of this spending possible. I appreciate you far more than I appear to.

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Where the green grass grows

Grass grows amazingly fast. I am serious. Do you ever think back to the younger years when your mah or pah (or, let's be real, you) would be out mowing the yard on summer evenings? I vaguely do. But even then, it didn't seem like it had to be done every week.

Guys, since moving into this house, I have mowed my yard weekly. It's ridiculous. Who knew grass grew so long?! I didn't! I'm sure I will be just as rattled when the snow starts flying, even though I have spent 22 years in the snow zone (minus the first year of my life, which was spent in Memphis, Tenn., where my parents were living at the time).

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Does anyone else know why grass grows so quickly? Emma Vatnsdal / The Forum

Has anyone else considered just paving over the yard and drawing on it with sidewalk chalk to make it look nice? Just me? Oh, OK.

Cleaning is nasty

This is something that I've always known, but it became even more obvious after I bought my house.

It's one thing to move into a new apartment where everything has been cleaned and inspected by the rental agency, but to move into a house is different. You never really know what you're going to get.

My garbage disposal is slow. No big deal, I thought, I will just pick up some drain cleaner made for the disposal and put it to work. Ohhhh no. Bad plan. Everything was orange and smelled terrible. And very little of it was my food, which made it worse.

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The behind-the-toilet area of my bathroom also needs, um, quite a bit of TLC. But, at least I'll know that it's done to my slightly-obsessive standards.

Murphy's Law

According to some sort of science, there is a law that says that if there is a chance that something bad could happen, it will happen. It's called Murphy's Law, and it is exactly correct and then some when dealing with a first house.

For example, paint. You know, that fun liquid that has the power to brighten or freshen up a room with just a few strokes and a bit of time? Well, I enjoy being trendy. I like things to look clean and modern, but still feel homey. This is why I chose to paint a few areas of my home black. Bobby Berk, interior designer extraordinaire from the Netflix show "Queer Eye," would be proud. My home is chic.

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I prefer to use the "pour and spread" method when painting my home. It's fast and efficient. Emma Vatnsdal / The Forum

Unfortunately, my stairs got chic-er now, too.

Monday night was tragic, to say the least. While carrying a shelf down to the basement to make way for my new-to-me kitchen table, I turned to avoid tripping over my fluffy white pride and joy, Chief. I had no intention of dropping three-quarters of a gallon of black paint off the shelf, down my stairs and on my carpet, but like the law says, the potential for something to go wrong was there — and oh my goodness did the universe take full advantage of it.

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So now my stairs are black. It really doesn't look too terrible, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that I remember to turn the lights on when I have to use the restroom upstairs in the middle of the night. That could be catastrophic.

It's the best decision ever

Now, this whole column may seem like I have nothing but issues with this whole homebuying ordeal. But please believe me when I say buying a house is by far one of the best decisions I have ever made. (Besides, of course, becoming the world's OK-est dog mamma to baby Chooflin.)

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This adulting thing really isn't going to be so terrible. Wish me luck, wonderful Fargo folks. Emma Vatnsdal / The Forum

Really, though, I can basically do whatever I want. I can paint a wall black, I can dump a gallon of paint on my floors and not have to worry about a security deposit, I can even knock a wall down if I want! I have wonderful neighbors who never hesitate to give Chief a scratch behind the ears and share a cheery "How'sit goin'?" when they see me in the yard.

This adulting thing really isn't going to be so terrible. Wish me luck, wonderful Fargo folks. And if you're ever in the north Moorhead area, feel free to say hello. I'll even let you give Chiefy a scratch.

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Friday 5 is a weekly column featuring quick tips, tricks, ideas and more — all in bunches of five. Readers can reach Forum reporter Emma Vatnsdal at 701-241-5517.

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