Community Corner

Mom With Cancer Finds 'Angel' Behind Act Of Kindness In Diner

"She was an angel, sent here to let me know, 'We've got you,'" woman battling cancer says.

(Courtesy Amy Pettenato.)

MEDFORD, NY — Sunday was a good day for Amy Pettenato, a mom who's been fighting a fierce battle with breast cancer. Sunday, she got the chance to spend some quality time with her husband Mike and daughter Angelina at the Metropolis Diner in Medford. But what happened next is a story that speaks to the power of kindness — and how a total stranger's words can mean everything.

Pettenato shared her experience at Metropolis on Facebook: "Next to us is a family. Mom, dad, and four girls. At times I noticed one of the daughters looking at me and then noticed the mom looking and smiling at me," she wrote. "As you can see, I have my cancer hat on."

The previous Thursday, Pettenato had shaved her head because her hair was falling out in clumps. "Throughout my whole journey, I'd stayed positive, but that made me depressed," she said

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Then, when she saw the young girl at the next table looking at her, Pettenato immediately thought it was because of her newly shorn locks. "I got sad, and teared up; I went into self-conscious mode about my hair. It was the first time I'd been out since I'd shaved my head."

But then came the moment that changed the meaning of those glances completely: Before the family left, the mom sat next to Pettenato and began talking to her about life as a 13-year breast cancer survivor.

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"We talked for a bit and she wished me luck with everything I’m going through and reminded me to stay positive," Pettenato said.

Pettenato and her family finished eating — and the waitress told them their check had been paid by the kind stranger. "The same woman who took five minutes out of her time to sit and comfort me and share her experience," Pettenato said. "With that I began to cry."

All she knew was that the woman was from Sachem and the family was wearing Sachem shirts. "I thanked her for sitting and sharing her story but never knew how to thank her for paying our bill. Maybe somehow this can be shared and who knows? Maybe it can reach them somehow," she wrote on Facebook.

And, through the power of social media, the amazing story of love spread like so much wildfire — so far, it has garnered 1.2K shares. The post was shared in a local Sachem moms' group and the two women, Pettenato and the woman who'd reached out, Kerry Holmes-Vallario, were re-connected and are now Facebook friends, sharing messages and hope.

Speaking to Patch, Holmes-Vallario said: "When I saw her I knew exactly what she was feeling — I remember the day my husband shaved my head; it was the hardest day of my life. When I saw her sitting there I just wanted her to know that she isn’t alone in her fight and that 'we' as warriors are all here for each other. On my journey I had met so many women who became friends from this disease and I wanted a just reach out to Amy and let her know I was there for her."

Reflecting on her journey, Pettenato said she was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer in May, undergoing a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Then in her third week home, while recovering, she lost kidney function and is now undergoing dialysis —at the same time as chemotherapy.

Having also gone back to work full-time at Bethpage Federal Credit Union, the days are long, interspersed with chemo and dialysis. That's why Sunday and a lazy breakfast at the diner was such a rare treat.

Courtesy Amy Pettenato, shown with her daughter Angelina.

Pettenato, however, had no idea that the family next to hers had walked her path. Until a kind stranger sat down and made a life-altering difference.

Calling her a "pink sister," Holmes-Vallario discussed her years of treatment; Pettenato then told her that she has seven weekly treatments left before the chemo is reduced to once every three weeks — and then, in October, she can begin the search for a liver and kidney transplant. "I'm excited to get chemo done," Pettenato said. "I beat this one and now I'm ready to beat the next one."

Inspired by her spirit, Holmes-Vallario told Pettenato that she was inspired by her positivity. "Being positive is so important," Pettenato said.

The woman's act of kindness touched Pettenato to the core, she said. "That was an angel, sent here to let me know, 'We've got you,'" she said.

When Pettenato sent back the check to add a slice of cheesecake, she was shocked when the waitress never brought the bill to the table again. "She said, 'There is no bill. It was taken care of.' And my husband said it was that woman that had just sat down. I started to cry. It just made my day. It was meant to be."

Pettenato shared her story not just to thank Holmes-Vallario for paying the bill, but to express gratitude for how she'd shared her story of hope.

On Monday morning, after the story had been shared in the Sachem moms' Facebook group, a friend called and said, "Amy, I found your angel."

Holmes-Vallario immediately wrote Pettenato and said while they might not know each other, they were "bonded as pink sisters" and she'd paid it forward because she knew how hard the struggle is for Pettenato right now. "When I saw your positivity, I knew you were a fighter," she told her.

In that moment, a friendship was born.

Only those who have endured the cancer experience, other survivors, can understand, Pettenato told her daughter. "I believe she was put in my path for a reason," she said.

Courtesy Amy Pettenato

Pettenato, who believes in paying it forward — recently buying a donut for a man who had forgotten his wallet — said she hopes to one day inspire others diagnosed with cancer.

"Throughout this whole journey, I've said I am going through this for a reason. When I am done, I am going to be that supporter for someone else — I'm going to volunteer and share my story," she said.

Being hit with two "life-changing" situations, cancer and losing kidney function, have not dampened Pettenato's innate positivity and joy. "I never said 'Why me?' I said, 'We got this. We will get through this,'" she said.

Having lost three siblings in 10 years, she feels she must stay strong for her parents. Pettenato is also surrounded by love and unwavering support: Her uncle just shaved his head in solidarity and her daughter and husband stand strong by her side.

She shared her story, she said, so others would know they are not facing the battle alone. "My journey," she said, "is going to be somebody else's support system. And positivity is key."

Courtesy Amy Pettenato


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