AUSTIN, TX—Simultaneously lamenting that “it’s every day with his bullshit,” both marketing analyst Evan Hall and his boss Jason Reade told reporters Friday that neither is paid enough to deal with each other. “I am definitely not getting enough money to show up at the office and put up with an asshole like this,” said Hall of his manager, who expressed the same exact sentiment verbatim regarding his employee before each independently voiced identical frustration about the other’s “gross incompetence” and “unbelievable fucking attitude.” “I’m going to need a serious raise if I’m gonna be expected to keep working with this piece of shit. Seriously, have you seen my paycheck?” At press time, both Hall and Reade were relieved of having to deal with each other by upper-level executives who fired them both.