It was a case of self-assault and battery.
An Iranian man was forced to go to the emergency room after shoving a AA battery down his penis in a grotesque stunt worthy of the new Discovery+ series “This Came Out of Me.”
The fiasco came to light after the unnamed 49-year-old reported to a hospital in Tehran, where he informed doctors that he had the charging device lodged in his genital organ for 24 hours, according to a new case study published in the medical journal Urology Case Reports.
During a followup visit, the patient complained of a “recurrence of obstructive and irritating urinary symptoms including dysuria, decreased urinary force.” He also reportedly experienced a burning sensation whenever he tried to urinate.
Meanwhile, subsequent X-rays revealed “severe and progressive” scarring to his urethra, which mitigated the amount of fluids that could flow through the tube. Doctors surmised that the scar tissue build-up could’ve been caused by toxic chemicals in the battery.
The patient never revealed his inspiration for the log jam, however surgeons observed that patients shove items in their urethras for a number of factors, including “psychiatric illness, autoeroticism, intoxication and perceived contraception.”
However, medics found the man’s case particularly odd as he didn’t have a history of mental illness.
Inspiration notwithstanding, leaving batteries in one’s privates for extended periods can reportedly cause infection, gangrene and even erectile dysfunction, per the study.
To prevent permanent damage, surgeons sliced open the patient’s perineum — the tissue connecting his penis and anus — so they could access the urethra without harming his testicles.
They then removed the energizing infiltrator and used a skin graft from the inside of his cheeks and lips to repair the urethral damage.
The man was discharged from the hospital after a three-week observation period, whereupon a six-month checkup revealed that he had fully recovered from the phallic fiasco.
This isn’t the first time a patient has reported to the hospital with an unlikely item in their willy. Earlier this month, a 37-year-old virgin got 6 feet of string lodged in his penis during a botched attempt at sexual gratification.