CRAIG BROWN: Are you a Prince Harry Mastermind?

  • When gossip grows old, we call it history
  • In due course, the same is bound to happen to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex
  • Spare a thought for our great-great-grandchildren in the 22nd century
  • They may have to read the Duke’s autobiography for their GCSE history exam

By Craig Brown for the Daily Mail

Published: | Updated:

When gossip grows old, we call it history. In his day, the detail of Henry VIII’s relationships with his six wives would have been known as gossip; nowadays it is studied at school, so it is history.

In fact, the correct mathematical formula for history is TT+100, or, in layman’s terms, Tittle-Tattle plus 100 years.

It’s already true of Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson. In the mid-1930s, stories about them were the province of gossip columnists. Ninety years on, they are on the history syllabus.

In due course, the same is bound to happen to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Spare a thought for our great-great-grandchildren in the 22nd century, forced to read the Duke’s autobiography for their GCSE history exam paper?

When gossip grows old, we call it history. In his day, the detail of Henry VIII’s relationships with his six wives would have been known as gossip; nowadays it is studied at school, so it is history

When gossip grows old, we call it history. In his day, the detail of Henry VIII’s relationships with his six wives would have been known as gossip; nowadays it is studied at school, so it is history

In due course, the same is bound to happen to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Spare a thought for our great-great-grandchildren in the 22nd century, forced to read the Duke’s autobiography for their GCSE history exam paper?

In due course, the same is bound to happen to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Spare a thought for our great-great-grandchildren in the 22nd century, forced to read the Duke’s autobiography for their GCSE history exam paper?

How will they fare against multiple-choice questions on their set text?

1) The title of Prince Harry’s 2023 memoir was:

a) Share

b) Smear

c) Square

d) Spare

e) Scare

2) What was the name of the book’s ghost-writer?

a) J.R. Ewing

b) J.R.R. Tolkien

c) J.R. Moehringer

d) J.D. Salinger

e) J.K. Rowling

3) Which of the above, if any, wrote Lord Of The Rings? (For a bonus five marks, describe the difference, if any, between J.R. Ewing and J.K. Rowling. For a further two marks, who killed J.R.R. Tolkien?)

4) The author of Prince Harry’s autobiography also ghost-wrote the memoirs of . . .

a) Andrea Leadsom

b) Andre Agassi

c) Andre Rieu

d) Prince Andrew

e) Andrew Ridgeley

5) For an extra two marks, what feats did Andrea Leadsom and Andrew Ridgeley share?

a) They were both successful 1980s pop stars before becoming racing drivers

b) They duetted on a charity version of hit single Last Christmas

c) They were both Tory MPs

d) They were both Leaders of the House of Commons

e) None of the above

6) In the acknowledgements for Spare, which one of these well-known historical figures did Prince Harry fail to thank for his or her ‘unwavering friendship and support’?

a) Oprah Winfrey

b) Chris Martin

c) James Corden

d) Harry Styles

e) Tyler Perry

7) To which pop band did Harry Styles belong? (And for five bonus marks, answer the following question in no more than 2,000 words: who or what was a ‘television chat show host’?)

a) One Direction

b) No Direction

c) Wrong Direction

d) Different Direction

e) Little Mix

8) In his book, the Duke of Sussex confessed to frequent bouts of anger. He had a special term for these bouts. Was it:

a) Blue lagoon

b) Red mist

c) Purple haze

d) Green giant

e) Yellow submarine

9) Of which close family member did the Duke of Sussex write: ‘She could kill a house plant with one scowl’?

a) His stepmother Camilla

b) His sister-in-law Kate

c) His great-aunt Margaret

d) His grandmother, the Queen

e) His black labrador, Pula

10) After a visit to the North Pole, Harry succumbed to frostbite on a part of his historic body. Which part?

a) Ankle

b) Elbow

c) Little finger

d) Big toe

e) A.N. Other

Answers: 

1d; 2c; 3b; 4b; 5e; 6d; 7a; 8b; 9c; 10e.

To be continued...

Meghan Markle

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