A Complete Guide to Maid of Honor Wedding Duties

This special role comes with a few noteworthy tasks.

a bride and maid of honor looking and smiling at each other

Photo by Hana Gonzalez Photography

This may not come as a surprise, but the responsibilities assigned to the maid of honor aren't quite what they used to be. However, while there are many duties that differ from what was expected in previous generations, at its core, the role of a maid of honor is to simply support the bride. But, what does that actually mean?

While every wedding will vary based on the bride's specific needs, there are several tasks required of this special position, no matter the type of event that's being planned. And following the expertise of wedding planner Betsy Krug, we put together a comprehensive list of modern-day, maid-of-honor duties for all "bridal besties" to follow. Be sure to take notes!

Meet the Expert

Betsy Krug is the co-owner and event director at Rebecca Rose Events, a destination wedding planning, floral design, and event production firm in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. 

Who Is the Maid of Honor?

While the title of maid of honor traditionally went to the bride's sister or a close female family member, today, brides have free reign to ask anyone to be a "maid of honor" on the big day. Nonetheless, this role should be designated to a person who is close to the bride, and to someone who will have the time and energy to complete every task throughout the entire wedding journey.

Maid of Honor Duties Infographic

Design by Kaitlyn Collins

Maid of Honor Duties Before the Wedding

While being asked to be the maid of honor is an exciting recognition, the work associated with this role starts long before it's time to walk down the aisle. As mentioned above, the first, and most important, duty will be to support the bride, but aside from that, everything else lies in the details.

Discuss Your Level of Involvement

"The maid of honor should walk a fine line of being supportive, not overwhelming," says Krug. "As the maid of honor, you know your friend, the bride, better than anyone else. After being asked, the maid of honor should initiate a conversation with the bride to discuss how best she can support her during the wedding-planning process. Be open about personalities and decide if the bride will delegate and ask for help, or if [you] should periodically check in and offer support without being prompted. Discuss the level of involvement and support upfront, and be mindful of relationships the bride may need to navigate with family."

Check-In With the Bridal Party

Once the bridal party has been established, the maid of honor should connect the group by email or via text. That way, everyone can get a taste of who's who before any wedding activities begin. Additionally, the maid of honor should check in to see how much each bridesmaid can afford before planning the bachelorette party or bridal shower. Don't assume they'll be able to cover the costs after you already have a big getaway to Cancun scheduled in the books.

Go Wedding Dress Shopping

Wedding dress shopping is perhaps the most anticipated event aside from the ceremony itself, especially for the bride and her closest friends. As the maid of honor, it's your job to help the bride say "yes" to the dress by attending the dress fitting appointments and providing your honest (but respectful) opinion.

Stay on Top of Important Tasks

With so much going on before the wedding, it can be easy to forget about certain tasks while helping your best friend prepare for this special day. That's why it's highly important to stay organized when handling your maid of honor duties and to not let anything slip through the cracks. For instance, the last thing you want is to find out your dress won't arrive by the wedding day, so be sure to order it as soon as you can so that it arrives early enough for any possible alterations.

Serve as the Point of Contact

Absorb as much wedding information as you can, and let the other bridesmaids, the bride's family members, and even guests turn to you with any questions they may have. This will save the bride a lot of time and will minimize the stress of responding to text messages and emails about where and when events are taking place.

Mediate Conflict Among the Bridal Party

As the maid of honor, you'll be in charge of maintaining peace among the bridal party. On top of that, you'll be assigning tasks concerning any pre-wedding events and answering any questions the bridesmaids may have regarding the wedding-day itinerary. Let everyone know they can come to you directly with any questions, comments, or concerns, and only involve the bride if you don't have a solution to their requests.

Plan the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party

Get ready to lead the charge when it comes to planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party. From reaching out to family members and bridesmaids to helping with the nitty-gritty of planning and keeping everyone's budgets in mind, you'll quickly become a bonafide expert party planner during the wedding process. "Plan a bachelorette party that you know the bride will love and enjoy. Don't feel pressure to create an event just to be social media worthy," Krug says.

Brides Tip

Before deciding when and where the bridal shower and bachelorette party will take place, ask the bride for a list of dates they're available. Then, send out an online survey to the bridal party so you can gauge when the most people will be available to attend.

Keep Track of Gifts Received

If the bride decides to open gifts at the bridal shower, you'll want to be sure to keep track of who gave what. It will be immensely helpful for the bride to have a list to look back at when she goes to create thank-you notes.

Prepare a Wedding Survival Kit

For every wedding event you attend, bring along a pack of bridesmaid essentials like Advil, Band-Aids, hair ties, safety pins, and other last-minute, mini-emergency items that are frequently needed. This may not seem like a big deal now, but it will certainly come in handy should any emergencies arise.

Lend a Hand With DIY Projects

Check-in to see if the bride needs help addressing wedding invitations or making centerpieces or favors. If so, volunteer to help by planning a wedding craft night, complete with the bride's favorite bubbly.

Prepare a Speech for the Reception

As the maid of honor, you'll likely be asked to give a speech at the reception, and it's your job to not embarrass the couple. Start jotting down ideas months before the wedding, and then spend a few weeks before the big day finessing it and putting everything together. 

Help With the Reception Playlist

One of the final things the bride will have on her to-do list is coming up with a reception playlist. Make a fun girls' night out of the task, where you blast some tunes, drink wine, and de-stress.

Offer to Pack for the Honeymoon

If the bride is overwhelmed the week before the wedding, offer to help out with any last-minute items on their to-do list, such as packing their honeymoon suitcase or running to the store for an extra bikini or bottle of sunscreen.

Keep Everything Moving

While there's a planner or coordinator to take the helm when it comes to the wedding-day timeline—including all the events leading up to the wedding—you should still make an effort to pencil everything in. "However the maid of honor organizes her personal life, she should integrate reminders for her maid-of-honor duties. For example, if you use a Google calendar, add check-in dates for bachelorette planning, checking in with the bride, and sending reminders to the bridal party," Krug says.

Have Fun

While your primary responsibility to the bride is to lend an extra set of hands, don't forget to pencil in some fun, too. From an afternoon spent getting mani-pedis to a full-blown girls' night out, the bride is first and foremost your best friend, and that's the role you should take most seriously during the planning process.

maid of honor helping the bride with her dress

Photo by Kurt Boomer Photography

Maid of Honor Duties on the Wedding Day

Once you've completed all your pre-wedding tasks, your role as maid of honor will be put to the test for the main event. Luckily, the duties aren't too labor-intensive and will only require you to be highly attentive on the big day. Keep reading to learn more.

Drop Off Any Reception Items

If things like toasting flutes, the couple's registry book, candle lighting, seating cards, or wedding favors have not already been dropped off at the ceremony and/or reception venues, you should add this to your list of things to do on the morning of the wedding.

Keep the Bridal Suite Tidy

Once all the bridesmaids are done getting ready, it's your job to make sure they remove their belongings from the bridal suite, so that the newlyweds don't return to a messy room at the end of the night.

Provide Emotional Support

First and foremost, your role should be to keep the bride as calm as possible by providing emotional support. "Weddings are an emotional time. A bride designates her maid or matron of honor as her most cherished confidant to share in all the emotions of planning and celebrating a wedding," Krug says. Alternatively, you'll also want to help the bride relish in all the excitement. Keep the energy up by popping a bottle of Champagne while getting ready and having a toast with the entire bride squad before the ceremony.

Make Sure the Bride Remembers to Eat

Throughout the day—and before they leave the bridal suite—you should check in periodically to see if the bride needs something to nibble on. While she may be too excited to think about food, a protein-rich snack will help fend off hunger pains.

Brides Tip

The bride might not have a proper meal until the reception later, so a little morning sustenance will go a long way on this marathon day. Ask them to share some of their go-to snacks (be it croissants, potato chips, or granola bars) so that you can have the bridal suite fully stocked.

Be on Drink Patrol

If the bridesmaids plan on sipping some bubbly with the bride while they get glam, it's the maid of honor's duty to ensure everyone enjoys the moment but doesn't overindulge. Make sure there's water and snacks readily available, too.

Assist the Mother of the Bride

Don't forget about the mother of the bride! From lending a hand with her hair and makeup to shuttling her water, snacks, and sips of Champagne, the mom of the bride has needs, too. If you or the bride suspect that she may get in the way of things, be sure to also have a list of backup plans to keep her busy. Activities may include greeting arriving guests, relaxing with her friends for a pre-ceremony cocktail, or doing a final walk-through to ensure all the décor is set.

Pitch in With Social Media

The bride will likely want the morning of the wedding to be as relaxed and unplugged as possible. Check with them first, of course, but this may be a good opportunity to snap behind-the-scenes shots of the Champagne toasts, happy tears, and even the moment they slip on their dress (and then, if the bride is okay with it, posting on social media and tagging relevant people).

Keep the Couple Separated Before the Ceremony

Help the bride out by keeping an eye out for their partner if they're following the tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony. Touch base with the wedding planner or coordinator to make sure the two don't cross paths before the dedicated moment. If the couple opts to exchange gifts ahead of the wedding, do them a favor by making the exchange swift and smooth.

Help the Bride Get Dressed

It's no small task to assist the bride as they get into possibly the most expensive and elaborate gown they'll ever wear in their life. Thus, you'll want to be certain everything is laid out in advance, from undergarments to shoes to jewelry, so there's no last-minute scrambling to find those heirloom earrings or an extra pair of pantyhose.

Provide Assistance in the Restroom

This isn't the most glamorous task, but the bride will appreciate it. They'll likely need a little help getting their dress, heels, and hair into the restroom for a final go before the ceremony begins. It'll be a moment full of laughter and surely some tricky maneuvers, but it sure gives new meaning to the term BFF.

Serve as the Bride's Personal Stylist

Don't hesitate to jump right in and lend a hand during the getting-ready process, especially if the bride doesn't have a planner or stylist to assist. From steaming out wrinkles to making sure the veil is perfectly placed, there's no shortage of details to help out with.

Keep the Wedding Rings Safe

During the ceremony, typically it's one of the best man's duties to hold onto the wedding bands until it comes time for vows to be exchanged. But there's a good chance you'll be in charge of safekeeping one of those precious rings at some point on the big day. So, be sure to guard them with your life.

Take Care of the Bouquet

Once the bride walks down the aisle, help them out by volunteering to hold their bundle of blooms. After they say "I do," you can give the bouquet back once it's time to walk up the aisle.

Keep the Bride Hydrated

As the maid of honor, you'll want to keep the bride hydrated from morning until the last dance. Be sure to check with the bride for their preference—sparkling or still—and remind them to take a few sips throughout the day. Doing so will keep their energy up and ward off any hangovers that could interfere with the morning-after brunch.

Dance With the Bride

You've made it to the reception when hopefully all the planning stress has melted away, so now it's time to celebrate on the ballroom floor. Grab the bride, your OG dance partner, for plenty of boogying to your favorite jams.

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