A Parent's Guide to Sudden, Uncontrollable Crying in Toddlers

Your toddler is happily playing with their toy truck when they suddenly break out with a loud, unexpected, and heart-stopping wail. You nearly break your leg, sprinting across the room, only to have their tears stop as suddenly as they started. They resume pushing their truck and making vroom, vroom noises as if nothing happened.

Several hours later, the cycle repeats. This time, your child is drinking a cup of milk, and they let out a few whimpers before going right back to drinking. What's going on?

Read on to learn why you may be noticing sudden uncontrollable crying in your toddler—plus what to do when your child melts down. We also advise on when your toddler's crying warrants a visit to a health care provider.

Reasons for Sudden, Uncontrollable Crying in Toddlers

Although your toddler's bouts of crying might seem to happen for no reason, there are usually a few common causes.

They're sick or in pain

Pain or illness could be one reason for sudden crying in toddlers. According to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, the following signs could indicate your toddler is experiencing pain:

• They lose interest in play
• Their appetite changes
• They have trouble sleeping
• They cry more than usual
• They're quieter than usual
• They're irritable or restless
• They tell you something hurts

Even if you don't see any signs, a headache or earache could cause random tears. For example, your child may yelp if there's a sudden increase in pain and then stop when it subsides.

They want something

Because toddlers have limited verbal communication, crying is a way for them to communicate. Toddlers may cry when they want or need something, such as attention, a toy, or a snack, says Nathan Blum, MD, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician and acting associate division chief of developmental and behavioral pediatrics at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

If your child is clingy or reaching for an object while crying, these may be signs they need something.

They're feeling scared

Sudden tears could also signal that your toddler is scared, whether because of something in the moment or something that happened in the past. Common toddler fears include:

• Strangers
• Loud sounds
• People in costumes
• The dark
• Bad dreams
• Being away from you (separation anxiety)
• Being alone
• Health care providers

The line between make-believe and real life is blurry for young children, so something like a shark in a book or a loud noise on TV could trigger your child to remember something terrifying, even days later.

They're hungry

Do you ever feel so hungry that it makes you crabby? This phenomenon is so common that people have invented a word for it: "hangry."

Your toddler can feel the same way. The trouble is they have less capacity to identify why they feel the way they do and may not accurately communicate it in words. Instead, they may have a sudden outburst of uncontrollable crying.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says to watch for these hunger signs in toddlers:

• They reach for food or point to it
• They open their mouth when offered food
  
• They get excited when they see food
• They tell you they're hungry with hand motions or sounds

Sometimes, if your toddler is way past hungry, they may start crying. So, if there aren't any of the above clear indicators of hunger, think back to the last time they ate and see if hunger could be the culprit. This sometimes happens when you're out and fall off their regular schedule.

They're tired

According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, toddlers need between 11 and 14 hours of sleep every 24 hours. If your toddler gets less than that—perhaps they skipped a nap or fought going to sleep last night—they may get overtired, resulting in a bout of sudden, uncontrollable crying.

They're overstimulated

Overstimulation occurs when a child becomes overwhelmed by their senses. This can happen when they take in too many loud sounds or bright, flashing lights. Screens can be a culprit, but so can a busy outing or social gathering.

Again, toddlers can't understand why they feel bad; they just know they do. Because of this, sudden, unexpected crying is the universal toddler response to bad feelings, including overstimulation.

They're experiencing sleep regression

If your toddler is experiencing sleep regression—when they suddenly stop sleeping well after previously mastering sleeping through the night—they may wake with sudden, uncontrollable crying. Toddler sleep regressions are common around 12 months and again at 18 months.

In toddlers, sleep regressions may be caused by significant developmental and physical changes like the following:

• Understanding object permanence
• Learning how to sit up
• Starting to crawl
• Starting to stand
• Teething

How to Deal With Uncontrollable Crying in a Toddler

Toddlers and preschoolers flow through emotions very easily, from happy to upset and back to happy again within a short period, says Stanley Spinner, MD, the chief medical officer at Texas Children's Pediatrics in Houston. So, if your child suddenly starts crying for seemingly no reason, here are ways to deal with the stop-and-go tears.

Use your detective skills

It's up to you to discover what sparked the cry-fest, as your toddler is too young to express their thoughts and feelings verbally.

First, make sure your child isn't sick or injured physically. Then, if all seems well, Dr. Blum says to go through your usual list of questions to determine what could be going on, including:

• Is the child hungry?
• Do they have a soiled diaper?
• Are they sleepy?
• Do they want to be held?
• Are they bored?
• Do they want a different activity?

Keep them engaged

Boredom and loneliness can also bring on tears, so keep your child engaged with activities and lots of fun quality time with you. If they're engaged, they won't be so focused on little issues, like the missing wheel on their toy truck.

Just be careful not to go overboard with the activities. Toddlers are just as likely to have sudden, uncontrollable crying when overstimulated. Find a balance between staying busy and finding time for rest and calm activities.

Let them call some of the shots

Toddlers crave independence. Sometimes, they cry out in frustration because they feel they lack control. Even if your kid is enjoying dancing with you, they may let out a whimper when they realize that dancing wasn't originally their idea. Or when they look down at their purple shoes, they might cry for a few seconds because they remember wanting to wear their yellow ones.

So give your child some age-appropriate choices throughout the day, like:

• Would you like the blue cup or the green cup for your water?
• Do you want to play with your blocks or draw a picture?
• Would you like yogurt or oatmeal for breakfast?
• Do you want to read in your bed or on the couch?

Your child will probably be more agreeable (and less whiny) if they feel they have a say in their life.

Start teaching self-expression

Teach your child simple words they can use to describe their feelings, like happy, sad, mad, and tired. Use the words often and in appropriate situations so they can understand how and when to say them. Try helping them label their feelings and those of others, such as characters in their favorite books.

Then, the next time they start uncontrollably crying, get down to their eye level. Say, "What's wrong? Are you sad? Mad? Bored?" Once they have the language to express themselves, they might be more inclined to use words than sudden, uncontrollable crying when they can.

Allow them to cry

If all else fails and you're certain that the tears aren't due to fear, hunger, discomfort, or another urgent need, consider giving your child the space to feel their feelings. Crying can be cathartic for both kids and adults, and sometimes your toddler will just need to let those feelings out. In fact, under the right circumstances, allowing your kid to cry for brief periods may be beneficial.

The goal is to support your child through their feelings while also allowing them to self-soothe. Stay close, stay calm, and let your child know that you're there to help them if they need it. You can offer a hug or other support when they're ready. After your child calms down, you can talk to them about what happened, what they were feeling, and strategies for finding their calm in the future.

When to See a Health Care Provider

You should contact a health care provider for crying in the following circumstances:

• They're crying inconsolably for long periods
• They have a stiff neck
• They're not moving normally
• They cry when you touch or move them
• They're not acting like themselves
• They might have an injury or illness
• They seem to be in pain

Also, you know your child best. So, if your gut tells you something is off, call a health care provider or take your child into an urgent care or emergency room.