Relax! You’re off the hook when it comes to that one drunken hookup.
That’s the gospel truth, according to Dr. Ruth Westheimer. The 91-year-old sex therapist tells Insider that she believes being honest about cheating on a partner could “make a bad impression” for someone looking for a long-term relationship.
“I don’t believe in honesty at all costs,” the saucy shrink says.
Westheimer says if someone cheats while under the influence of alcohol and regrets the romp later, those feelings are an indication not to tell a partner. Doing so could inevitably sabotage the relationship, she says.
“If you did a one-night stand because you had too much to drink and never saw that person again, keep your mouth shut,” she says. “Don’t tell your partner.”
On the flip side, Westheimer says that honesty is pivotal if a person is looking for a long-term relationship and advises telling a partner about cheating to help evolve the relationship.
Westheimer has not been shy about sharing her opinions about sex over the years, including her thoughts about sex on the first date, how smartphones have ruined dating and declaring morning sex the best. She’s also been candid about her own sexual adventures at her age, telling the Today show in 2015, when she was 86, that she has sex all the time.
But some of her other hot takes have been divisive. She’s also weighed in about sexual assault, saying that women can’t say no to sex once in bed. She later clarified that she’s “100% against rape.”
Dr. Westheimer isn’t alone in her lax beliefs about cheating. Several books suggest that cheating in a marriage doesn’t mean it isn’t happy, but rather that the infidelity just wasn’t discovered. Others go to great lengths to ensure cheaters are caught, such as one New York Man who set up an elaborate surveillance system to bust his wife in the act.
Dr. Ruth’s advice bodes well for all the ladies out there. A recent study suggests that women are better at hiding infidelity, according to the findings published in Royal Society Open Science. The researchers wrote that men and women were able to predict a man’s infidelity — but neither could pick out a female cheater.
Manhattan-based psychiatrist Dr. Kenneth Rosenberg, author of “Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat” tells The Post that the number of women who cheat has actually skyrocketed.
“Twenty percent of men cheat, but that number has been stable for the past 20 or so years,” he says. “For women, it’s 15 percent, but that number has gone up 50 percent over the past 20 years.”