My true love gave to me: 'consensual non-monogamy'

Christmas takes its toll on any relationship, between the surge of domestic necessities – having to deploy the pickling skills you haven’t used in decades, and the emotionally fraught business of gift selection – and, of course, the fact that spending the whole month drunk means you are bound to get off with one of your colleagues. You have wanted to all year; for most of autumn, it was the only reason you went into work.*

Dr Wednesday Martin has a modern solution: the “hall pass”, or to give it its full title, a festive period of consensual non-monogamy. “You agree with your partner: ‘I love you, I love this relationship, but I’m also missing some thrill and adventure’,” she said on This Morning. Women are more likely to feel this way than men, Martin asserted.

Vanessa Feltz, as the first recipient of this advice, immediately pooh-poohed it, as did her viewers later, but all on the basis of what it might do to the stability of the couple. I would counsel an open mind here: every couple experiences betrayal in its own way.

The real problem with the time-limited non-monogamy period is that, inevitably, it involves other people. They might not want to be stood down on 12th night. They might feel the fling had more meaning than an advent calendar, or they might themselves be in a relationship without this consensual clause.

The only way to ensure it wouldn’t drag on beyond festive thrill and adventure is to treat the other parties entirely instrumentally – just a bit of grout to fill the cracks, without any desires of their own. Never mind unseasonal, that’s not very nice.

Indeed, the only way this could work is if there were pan-social consent, with literally every couple signing up except the ones who don’t read magazines and didn’t get the memo. That’s something to think about for 2019, maybe.

*Not me. I work from home.