Impoverished Kenyan Bean Picker Can’t Wait To See What Starbucks Has To Say About Racial Sensitivity

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NYERI, KENYA—Reacting to news that Starbucks will close more than 8,000 locations for a day to conduct anti-discrimination training, impoverished Kenyan bean picker Adamu Mwangi told reporters Wednesday he couldn’t wait to hear the international coffee giant’s perspectives on racial sensitivity. “I think this could turn out to be really interesting,” said Mwangi, who added that after completing a 14-hour shift Saturday harvesting beans for Starbucks’ Kenya-brand coffee, the highlight of his week had been reading what CEO Kevin Johnson had to say about how minorities are treated by his multibillion-dollar corporation. “Not every company is willing to take on an issue as complicated as race, and I’m just excited to find out how they plan to address inequality moving forward. Hopefully, we’ll see some real, concrete change from this.” At press time, sources confirmed Mwangi had been beaten unconscious on the job after being inspired by Starbucks to engage his fellow farmhands in a discussion about racial injustice in all its forms.