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Oprah and Gayle: The OG Chronicles

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- Honey, I think we've reached a point where we have everything we need and we really don't have to exchange gifts anymore. (laughs) That's what we did in our house. - I was gonna say are you talking from personal experience? - 'Cause I had the same issue. (laughs) - Juggling your life is challenging enough but the holidays can make everything feel more stressful. You wrote in with your questions about how to deal with what's supposed to be the most - [Oprah And Gayle] Wonderful time of the year. - I knew she was gonna do that 'cause I was gonna do it too. So we are here to help you out, let's go. (Christmas music) - First question, my fiance and I just got engaged. We live in New York but his family lives in Maryland and mine lives in Florida and they both feel strongly about spending the holidays with us. The topic has already caused some tension and it will only get worse when we have children, that is for sure. How do we split up the holidays to make everyone happy? - Good question, 'cause you know with Kirby got engaged so we're gonna be having this conversation very soon. - Yeah. - I was thinking that Kirby should get Thanksgiving and Christmas and he should 4th of July, Flag Day, that's what I'm thinking. - I think you should split between the two major holidays so Thanksgiving at his house or Christmas at yours. - Vice versa. - And then you can also rotate. I think it's really easy if you say this year we're gonna do Christmas at my house, my family's house and then Thanksgiving at yours and then rotate. - My boss is so generous and she always gives people the best Christmas presents. I know she's getting me something and I wanna get her something too but I don't make a lot of money. What can I get her that feels appropriate? That's a good question. - It's a really good question. I always think that the best thing you can give anybody is your truest thoughts, your truest self. And I will tell you that one of my girls gave me for my 64th birthday a tiny little box that she had, you now, inscribed with 64 reasons why I love you. And it is one of my greatest treasures in the world. Your words thoughtfully conceived really will mean a lot. - I like that idea. And no boss ever expects someone who's not making what the boss makes to match them tit for that. - Yeah. - Nobody expects that. - It doesn't have to be something big. Just something really nice that the person likes. Like if they like a certain kind of coffee or they like a certain kind of tea. Yes, it's the, it really is the - [Both] Thought that counts. - When there's some thought in it. That phrase only applies to when you actually put some thought in it. - I didn't grow up believing in Santa Claus but my wife wants to continue letting our six year old believe Santa is real. I think it's silly at his age especially because I know that any day now he's gonna find out the truth on the playground. - So should we tell him? - Should we tell him and if so how? I think six is still pretty young. I think at six they still believe in Santa Claus. It's different though with the technology but I think it depends on the maturity of the child. If the child still believes at six I think that's okay. I think you have a problem when they're 10 when it starts getting into double digits. But I don't think six is too young to still believe in Santa. - I think I know somebody who's 10 and still believes. - I think that's a bit of an issue. (laughs) A 10 year old, yeah I think a 10 year old is different. - My brother and I have very different political views. I'm very liberal and he is a major Trump supporter. I've asked him to leave politics alone but whenever we're in the same room he brings up the news and things get heated. This is going on in a lot of families. I know it's going to be more of the same this holiday. How do I handle political differences when we just want to have a nice time. - Katie Perry did something really interesting at a dinner party. There was a big group of people, she wrote a sentence on a piece of paper and just started a sentence. And then she passed it around, everybody had to add a sentence to what it is and then you, at the end, you just read whatever the story is. And at the end it completed a little story that I thought was a really fun idea, I'd never seen that before. - Well at Thanksgiving at our table we always do the what are you most grateful for or the three things you're most grateful for or the thing that made you the happiest this year. We do like a gratitude circle and that's a wonderful thing and change is the vibration and energy of the table from politics to gratitude. - My husband is always so proud of the gifts that he gives me and I don't wanna break his heart but they're always terrible. How do I nicely tell him he just doesn't get my taste? That's hard because the husband is probably very proud of what he's done. I don't know, I don't know, I don't want to break his heart either. I think you just accept it with grace. - No, I don't think you have to do that. - I do. - No you don't. - What do you say? - I say you say honey, I think we've reached a point where we have everything we need and we really don't have to exchange gifts anymore. (laughs) That's what we did at our house. - I was gonna say, are you talking from personal experience? - 'Cause I had the same issue. (laughs) Came to an agreement that gifts, that's not what we do. Why do we need to do it? - Well that's not what you do but I think most people like a present so I just don't see any harm in just accepting it. Especially if he's put some thought into it, he thinks it's something you're going to like. Or you could have the type of relationship-- - When's the last time you had this issue? - Who me? - Yeah. - What year is it, 2019? - That's what I'm saying. You're giving advice, when's the last time you actually had this issue? I'm telling you just to say-- - I still know how people feel about getting gifts. I don't have to be in a relationship to understand what this is. I also think you could say, you know what, why don't you and I go shopping together, you could also do that. - Our wish for you is that each of you get to allow yourself to be fully present with whomever you are associating with, whomever you're in the room with, whomever, all these people you're trying to get gifts for, what people really want is your-- - Your time. - Your time and your presence. So after all the most powerful gift you can give anybody including yourself is - [Both] Time. - Time. Merry Christmas. - Have a good holiday. (upbeat music)

Navigating Holiday Drama? Oprah and Gayle Have Helpful Advice

Oprah and Gayle: The OG Chronicles

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