So-Called Professional Gamer Not Even Racist

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OXNARD, CA—Expressing bewilderment after sitting through his four-hour livestream “for nothing,” chat room viewers nationwide overwhelmingly said they felt cheated and deceived Wednesday by Twitch user xLNENRDx who, despite purporting to be a professional gamer, does not pout torrents of racist epithets and opinions whenever possible. “This guy thinks he’s some sort of pro gamer, but he can’t even string together some basic racial slurs. I figured he’d at least drop the N-word when he got chain-killed by that spawn camper, but he just yelled regular swears and kept playing,” said area gamer Morgan Ridley, 26, who tuned into the Overwatch livestream with the expectation of hearing ethnic stereotypes projected onto the game’s diverse cast of characters. “He expects people to pay for this shit? Maybe next time he should try putting some effort into doing a Chinese accent after you toss those sticky grenades. Yeah, he has said some pretty sexist shit, but that alone won’t move the needle.” Amid dwindling view counts and a waning subscriber base, xLNENRDx has resolved to court niche viewers by working in a few nasty remarks about indigenous Australians.