All the (Not Healthy) Cereals, Ranked
Photo by Shutterstock1/10#10 Corn Pops
There's no mascot, no clever name, and it resembles (and tastes like) packing peanuts. Which is apt, because we’re packing this one away...forever.
Photo by Shutterstock2/10#9 Honey Smacks
It doesn’t matter if you call them Golden Crisp. It doesn’t matter if you eat them the second milk hits them. These are a sugar smack to the molars—in fact, there’s as much sugar in a bowl of these bad boys as in a glazed doughnut. Where's the nuance?
Photo by Shutterstock3/10#8 Frosted Flakes
The best part about Frosted Flakes is the sugary milk it leaves behind. In other words, the best thing about Frosted Flakes happens when the cereal is no longer there.
Photo by Shutterstock4/10#7 Froot Loops
If shaved ice syrups were a cereal, they’d be Froot Loops. But there's a reason those syrups go on ice—they're too much on their own. Just like these Loops.
Photo by Shutterstock5/10#6 Cap'n Crunch
Though it suffers from the same mouth-cutting sweetness as Froot Loops, Cap’n Crunch is superior for three reasons. 1) Toucan Sam was never a military officer. 2) The Cap’n may have starred on Days of Our Lives. 3) That crunch.
Photo by Shutterstock6/10#5 Honey Nut Cheerios
A healthy balance of sweetness. Hints of almond. An inoffensive crunch. It all works—so go ahead and ignore the fact that these probably aren't as healthy as that talking bee contends.
Photo by Shutterstock7/10#4 Frosted Mini Wheats
Should this be counted in a ranked list of healthy cereals because “wheat” is in the name? Nah, this sugar-coated shredder fest (which gets better after a quick soak in milk) is the Pharrell of sugar cereals: a sweet crossover hit that never gets old.
Photo by Shutterstock8/10#3 Cocoa Puffs
A flavorful cereal milk. A rich cocoa flavor. A questionably manic depressive cuckoo bird that loses his mind on camera like that guy in Network. This is the magic of Cocoa Puffs.
Photo by Shutterstock9/10#2 Lucky Charms
Shake a box of magical talismans at us, and we’d run in the opposite direction. Make those charms into marshmallows and pour some sugar on it, and you’ve got our attention. The only thing that’s keeping Lucky Charms out of the top slot? Its chalky cereal milk.
Photo by Shutterstock10/10#1 Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Why does CTC reign supreme? Simple. No other seasoned cereal milk packs the same nutty, nuanced, sweet-and-spicy flavor. Not even Cocoa Puffs. Use that seasoned milk to spice up other cereals, especially chocolate-flavored ones.
