How To Raise Difficult Issues In Team Meetings

No one wants to say the difficult thing. Virtually every professional has felt that sense of paralyzing anxiety when they want to raise a sensitive issue or make a difficult point during a group discussion. Whether the difficult point relates to an unpopular leadership decision, operations risks or workplace equity concerns, there is an alternate approach that may prove both easier and more effective.

Instead of making a controversial statement, ask a provocative question.

Consider this scenario:

You’re part of a planning committee helping to coordinate your company’s annual in-person conference. It’s a major event that brings together most of the workforce, and staff look forward to it each year. As part of the conference, the company brings in a range of speakers to provide thought leadership on a range of topics. While you’ve been impressed with the tentative line-up, you’ve become increasingly disturbed and disappointed with the stark lack of diversity. Both of the keynote speakers are older white males and virtually all the additional speakers are white. In contrast, your company’s demographics are quite diverse so you’re disappointed that employees of color won’t see themselves represented among the speaker pool. As the marketing team pulls together mock promotional materials, you want to raise your concerns with the planning team, but you’re not sure how to phrase your comment.

Let’s explore the difference between making a statement and asking a question in this particular situation.

Making a statement – “I think this mock speaker page looks great everyone, but there’s a problem that we need to discuss. Our speaker panel isn’t diverse. That bothers me and I think it will be a point of frustration for others. We can do better than this.”

Asking a question – “Everyone, I’m really excited to see our speaker page taking shape. The conference planning is certainly coming along nicely. I did have one question for the group though. Considering our organization’s stated commitment to anti-racism, diversity and inclusion, does our speaker line-up reflect and support those values and goals? What do others think?”

Most will find the question approach to be an easier lift (less anxiety-inducing) and ultimately more effective for a few key reasons.

1. Questions are inherently less threatening

Believe it or not, people don’t like being told what to do nor do they love being challenged. Without question, there are certainly times when both are appropriate if not necessary. That said, it’s important to be sparing and strategic when opting for direct challenge. Oftentimes, when the goal is to surface an important concern or perspective while maintaining relationships, questions can be a great alternative because the questioning approach can be just as powerful and effective while also being less threatening. Questions tend to land differently with others because we’re asking instead of telling.

2. Questions directly engage others in the issue

Part of the hesitation about giving voice to a sensitive topic or concern is wondering who else will support your comment. No one wants to be the one to raise a concern or make a suggestion that’s met with deafening silence. Instead, we want to feel that we’re not alone. Questions help do just that by immediately bringing others into the conversation. Oftentimes, there’s an “undiscussable” or elephant in the room that many may be thinking about, but no one wants to be the one to stick their neck out and actually say something about it. With the questioning approach, we’re essentially punting the issue to the group and in a way giving others permission to voice concerns that they may already have themselves.

3. Questions create less exposure if our assumptions are incorrect

Another hesitancy that may prevent some from speaking up about a sensitive topic or difficult issue is the concern around potentially making incorrect assumptions. We may feel like we have to be sure we have perfect information before making our point. Questioning tends to lessen that pressure because after all, we’re only asking a question, right? If the subsequent discussion reveals new information or even shows that some of our assumptions were inaccurate, there tends to be less exposure (or even regret) because we simply posed our concern or recommendation as a question for consideration, not a mandate with specific expectations.

Speaking up isn’t easy, particularly when the topic might be sensitive or provocative in some way. But unfortunately, speaking up is critically important. It’s how we address hard truths, course correct, innovate and hold ourselves accountable. The next time you find yourself in that tenuous situation—wanting to raise an issue with a group but afraid to speak up—consider asking a question instead.