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NRA Ad Director Still Searching For Right Sinister Music To Play Over Footage Of High Schoolers

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OKLAHOMA CITY—Even after pulling an all-nighter and trying dozens of options, director Bryan Jenkins of the National Rifle Association’s longtime ad agency Ackerman McQueen was reportedly still searching Wednesday for just the right sinister music to play over footage of high school students. “We’ve been at it for hours, but I really want it to hit the perfect ominous note so it scares people when we suddenly punch in on a black-and-white photo of [Parkland, FL school shooting survivor] Emma González hugging her friends,” Jenkins said of the 30-second spot, insisting it should feature a menacing crescendo as a still of teenagers advocating for gun reform turns into an eerie, inverted photo negative of the children with the words “LIES,” “ARROGANCE,” and “HATRED” overlaid. “It has to be really creepy and dark-sounding, especially when it switches to the slo-mo of that 14-year-old smiling while the voice-over disparages his motives. Oh! And for this shot of 11th-graders standing at a podium, I’m definitely hearing a slow progression of minor chords.” A frustrated Jenkins later conceded that he may be overthinking it, given that the ad could run with no music at all and NRA members would continue to be completely terrified of the school-age protesters.