Porn may be easily accessible nowadays, but it's still a taboo topic and getting help when you're consuming too much can be anything but easy. The starting point if you think you have a problem is identifying porn addiction symptoms and then choosing the correct treatment option for you. But before you go looking for solutions, first you need to work out if you actually have a problem.
As it stands, ‘porn addiction’ isn’t a clinical diagnosis. Currently, it falls under the definition of compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (CSBD) – terminology that was introduced by the World Health Organisation (WHO) in 2018. CSBD is characterised by ‘a persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges resulting in repetitive sexual behaviour’.
Sound familiar? Or are you wondering, at what point does a healthy habit become an unhealthy addiction? Psychologists and therapists have also pondered this question. Danielle Byatt, treatment director and co-founder of Step by Step Recovery, sums up their findings as: ‘Generally, it is only considered an issue when frequent or compulsive porn use starts to negatively impact your daily life and relationships,’ she says.
Right now, there are definition issues with porn addiction, agrees Anand Patel, GP and sexual health specialist. ‘Some people define it as more of a compulsion; ritualistic behaviour. An itch you have to scratch and there’s no rational reason why, like people who have to wash their hands three times otherwise the plane’s going to crash. It can be a self-soothing thing for anxiety.’
Still, if you think you're in the midst of an 'unhealthy' porn habit, there are definite porn addiction symptoms that can indicate you do have a problem. But first, let's dig deeper into exactly what porn addiction is.
What Is Porn Addiction?
Whether or not clinicians agree that porn addiction exists, given the nature of our internet-connected society, it’s an issue that’s unlikely to go away. So, what’s going on behind the scenes?
’When watching porn – or having sex – dopamine is released, giving the viewer feelings of pleasure and a sense of craving,’ explains psychotherapist and hypnotherapist Nick Davies.
‘Norepinephrine is released, creating focus and alertness, as well as oxytocin and vasopressin, creating a strong link to the object [of] sexual pleasure. The body also releases endorphins; natural opiates that create a wave of pleasure over the whole body. After orgasm, serotonin levels change, bringing a sense of calm and relaxation.’
Of course, there’s more than just a few rogue chemicals at play when it comes to addiction. To understand why people become so reliant on all those juicy brain-altering compounds, you must first consider the root cause.
‘Addiction is normally formed because people are trying to escape from negative feelings or memories of events,’ Davies says, adding that the highest risk people are those who have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
‘In my practice, clients suffering from any form of addiction are normally trying to escape things like traumatic memories, loss, breakups, loneliness, sadness and unhappiness.’
What Causes Porn Addiction?
There is no one cause for porn addiction, but as Byatt explains it can be linked to other, complex, conditions.
’Porn addiction is a complex issue,’ says Byatt. ’It's classified as an impulse control disorder by the World Health Organization. The thing with impulse control disorders is that they don't have just one cause. Many factors can contribute to porn addiction. For example, your brain chemistry might play a role. If certain neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine are out of whack, it can be harder to control impulsive behaviours.
’People with anxiety, depression or bipolar disorder might also be more likely to develop an impulse control disorder. Even a traumatic brain injury or damage to certain parts of the brain could put you at risk. However, these risk factors alone don’t mean you will develop a porn addiction.’
The Symptoms of Porn Addiction
If you're still wondering whether you have an addiction to X-rated content, consider how many of these porn addition symptoms apply to you.
1/ Inability to Stop
The first and most obvious symptom of porn addiction is an inability to stop watching it. ‘Addiction is characterised by the inability to stop engaging in compulsive behaviours, despite the consequences that could arise,’ says Byatt.
2/ A Strong Impulse to Watch Porn
Engaging in repetitive behaviours and habits can eventually rewire the brain’s neuropathways. This can lead to you almost needing to watch porn in response to certain triggers. ‘This is why you feel such a strong impulse to watch porn,’ says Byatt. ‘If you suspect your partner has an addiction to porn, you may notice them sneaking away to another room or becoming defensive when you question them about their pornography use.’
3/ Disinterest in Regular Activities
If porn stops you from achieving what you want in a day or causes you to lose track of time, those are definite symptoms of an addiction. At the sharp end of the scale, porn addiction can cause someone to be completely disinterested in regular activities.
4/ Lack of Interest in Sex
A lack of interest in sex comes can manifest in you having unrealistic expectations of what sex is or of the physical appearance of your partners. ‘You may also push your partner away and destroy your ability to have a fulfilling sex life with them,’ says Byatt.
5/ Physical Discomfort
Watching porn isn't just a mental issue it can cause physical issues too and can cause you to do things like skip eating in order to indulge your habit. ‘You may also be prone to suffering strains in your wrists, back, and neck, as well as frequent headaches,’ says Byatt.
6/ Experiencing Feelings of Guilt and Shame
Feelings of guilt and shame are extremely common symptoms of porn addiction. ‘You may feel as though you are neglecting your partner as well as your priorities and feel ashamed of your need to seek out pornography,’ says Byatt.
7/ Constantly Distracted
Being constantly distracted by thoughts of watching porn or being unable to focus on tasks is another very common porn addiction symptom.
8/ Depression and Anxiety
‘Addiction to porn can cause depression and anxiety, reduced self-confidence and feelings of isolation,’ says Byatt.
9/ Relationship Problems
‘Porn addiction can also strain relationships, so if you’re in a relationship and experiencing a sense of isolation and reduced self-confidence, it’s another sign you may need support,’ says Byatt.
10/ Financial Difficulty
Let's be honest porn addiction isn't the same as a gambling addiction for example, and won't leave you as exposed to financial difficulty. Still, some porn addicts have reported spending money on ‘higher-quality content’, which isn't cheap and can lead to financial difficulty down the road.
In addition to the signs and symptoms of porn addiction, There are also widely-accepted stages of addiction – including initiation, experimentation regular use, problem use, and dependence – and they can apply to your internet search history, as Davies explains.
The Stages of Porn Addiction
Stage one: You've watched porn before, but it doesn't have any bearing on your life.
Stage two: You're starting to become more curious about watching pornography, but again it doesn't affect your everyday life.
Stage three: You begin to feel compelled to watch porn, and start viewing 'harder' types of it.
Stage four: You expose yourself to more extreme forms of pornography. Fantasies begin to affect everyday life.
Stage five: You've tried to stop watching porn, but you feel like you can't. The withdrawal symptoms affect your everyday life.
Stage six: Porn dominates your life, and has a direct impact on your personal relationships and behaviour.
Stage seven: You no longer get the same 'hit' from normal pornography, so watch extreme or illegal forms regularly.
Stage seven is obviously the most extreme end of the spectrum. But the physical effects of porn addiction set in long before you find yourself in a situation where the police could come knocking.
Some people say that porn helps them fall asleep quicker, says Patel. Innocent enough, but in the end, their X-rated viewing becomes ‘almost like a sleeping tablet. You train the mind to think of it in a different way.’ Eventually, you fail to recognise your body’s natural arousal cues, and this can lead to erectile dysfunction.
How Common is Porn Addiction?
Because there isn't a standardised way to diagnose porn addiction, it's difficult to say exactly how common it is. However, some studies conducted in the UK suggest that it's not as rare as we might think.
‘A study published in 2016 by the Journal of Behavioral Addictions surveyed adults seeking treatment for compulsive sexual behaviour and found that 77.8% reported problematic pornography use,’ says Byatt. ‘In Pornography addiction: A neuroscience perspective — published in Surgical Neurology International — 21% of men and 9% of women surveyed reported problems with porn use. These studies aren't perfect, of course, and they may not be fully representative of the general population. It's also worth noting that the way we think about porn addiction is evolving, and more research is needed to fully understand it.’
Porn Addiction Therapy
‘Porn addiction can significantly impact your life,’ says Byatt. ‘It can consume your thoughts, making it difficult to focus on anything else. This can lead to irrational decision-making, depression, anxiety and mood swings. If you lose track of time, feel guilt or shame, or have trouble completing important tasks like making dinner or focusing at work due to porn, these are all potential signs of addiction.’
If you're experiencing any of these symptoms it may be time to consider getting help, and treatment for porn addiction is like that of any other behavioural addiction. Techniques such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), hypnotherapy and counselling – either one-on-one, or in a group environment – are often used as part of the programme.
‘If you're struggling with porn addiction,’ says Byatt, ‘the first steps in recovery are recognising you need help and seeking treatment. During treatment, you'll work with a trained psychological professional. As you recover from porn addiction, you will discover the emotions behind your addiction. Through counselling and group therapy, you'll develop tools to manage those emotions in a healthier way so that you don't turn to porn for comfort.
‘Staff at rehab centres are also trained to help you with any other health issues you may have, including mental health conditions that may be contributing to your addiction. A residential rehab centre provides a secure and supportive environment where you can focus solely on your recovery. If you opt for outpatient counselling, you must stay vigilant and resist the temptation of easy access to porn. Long-term recovery following outpatient or residential treatment can include counselling, group meetings and peer support.’
If the idea of stepping outside to open up about your internet-based affliction seems like too much of a stretch, there's an accessible– and often, cheaper – solution in the form of confidential online therapy platforms such as Talkspace.
Not sure where to start? Your first port of call should be the free and confidential Recovery helpline. You can call anytime – lines are open 24/7 – or enter your details online and have one of the team ring you back. They'll offer comprehensive advice on both private options and free services, tailored to you.
Porn Addiction Recovery
The journey to recovery varies from person to person, depending on extent of the addiction and the person's mental health.
‘If you've been exposed to the Next catalogue, and then you progress onto Razzle, it isn't going to be as stimulating as a real life person,’ says Patel. ‘However if you've been watching high speed internet porn where you can flick from video to video... Some men have, say, 10 different films that they cue up. They work from one video to the next, so they can then ejaculate on the one they want to. That isn't how sex works.’
Normally, Davies says, new behaviour can be created within one month, though ultimately ‘it depends on the length of time of the porn addiction, the severity and also the client's emotional history’.
As with any other addiction, there’s also an inevitable withdrawal period. Anxiety and low mood are common, as dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin, vasopressin, endorphin and serotonin levels return to normal. Regular exercise, Davies adds, can help balance to these chemicals.
How to Stop Porn Addiction
Go cold turkey, suggests Patel. For some people that might even include social media websites such as Facebook and Instagram. Instead, he recommends joining online support groups such as No Fap and Your Brain On Porn.
‘Some people will enter a period we call flatline,’ he adds. ‘You’re used to being stimulated in a certain way, and real life doesn’t really offer that. Some men complain that their penises appear smaller than usual. Their desire goes, their libido falls.”
And if this happens? Persevere. ‘The brain is a plastic organ, it can evolve,’ Patel continues. ‘Hanging on is the difficult bit. This flatline makes people think, "I better go back to porn, I need to fix this", but actually they’re fixing it by leaving it.’
When the addiction rears its ugly head, try Davies’ mindfulness exercise: the Blast Technique.
The Blast Technique
- Sit back in a comfortable chair with your arms and legs uncrossed, take a few moments to relax with your thoughts, feelings, emotions and cravings before you begin.
- Assess and write down the intensity level of the craving from zero to 10, zero being no craving and 10 being the most you can imagine.
- Tap on your forehead above each eyebrow alternately 10 times each counting out loud (optional).
- Tap on both cheekbones alternately 10 times each counting out loud (optional).
- Tap on the front of your chin either side 10 times each counting out loud (optional).
- Tap on your collar bones (opposite hand to collarbone side) alternately 10 times each counting out loud (optional).
- Keeping your head still, look to your left, then right, three times each side.
- Take a diaphragmatic breath and slowly, mentally tell yourself “I’m okay”.
- Assess and write down the intensity level of the craving between zero and ten.
- Repeat the process until you have the result you require.
