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The Pioneer Woman
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The only prep you need to do is chop an onion…

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And dice up a carrot as fine as you’d like.

Man, that was difficult!

Ha.

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Now it’s over to the slowcooker! Add a 1-pound bag of frozen broccoli…

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Some chicken broth…

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The onion…

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And the carrot.

Now. I’m getting ready to add an ingredient that some humans might take issue with. But rest assured, I have another recipe for broccoli cheese soup on my website, and it does not contain this ingredient that some humans take issue with.

But before I show you the ingredient that some humans might take issue with, let me warn you that a little ways down this recipe, it’s going to happen again with another ingredient.

I’m glad we had this talk!

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Crack open a couple of cans of cream of celery soup. (Oh, and use whatever dang brand you want. I just happen to have this one!) It adds flavor and creaminess and a little thickness without the need of a roux, which I think defeats the whole purpose of slow cooker cooking! I like to throw everything in and go live the life I was born to live, not watch the clock and try to remember when to make a flour paste and add it to the slow cooker.

Life is too short for such roux-related specificity!

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Add the soup…

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Then add salt and pepper…

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Seasoned salt and cayenne. You’ll probably need to season the soup more a little more later, but this is a start.

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Now set it on high for 4 hours, Pookie Head.

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This is a little less than 4 hours, but I was chasing daylight.

Any foodblogger could entitle his memoir “Chasing Daylight.”

The struggle is real.

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You can leave the soup as is, but I think pureeing it a bit brings out the broccoli wonderfulness. An immersion blender is great, a little masher is great. Or you could puree very small batches (like a cup at a time, since blending hot liquids is dangerous!) in a blender.

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I didn’t go crazy and puree it completely—just enough to break up all but a few large pieces of broccoli and some of the onions.

And now.

*WARNING*

*WARNING*

*WARNING*

Here comes that second ingredient I warned you about earlier.

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Drop in some Velveeta! I’m sorry. I mean “processed cheese product.” You don’t have to, of course. You can just use cheddar or Monterey jack or whatever other normal cheese you want! Ha.

But Velveeta will make it…well, creamy and smooth like there’s no tomorrow.

*THIS IS NOT A PAID ADVERTISEMENT!*

*I SWEAR!*

*IT’S JUST THAT I’M NOT AFRAID TO BREAK OUT THE V-VIDDY FROM TIME TO TIME!*

Please love me. Please?


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Hey, look! I’m redeeming myself. Grated sharp cheddar makes it extra good.

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Turn the slow cooker to low and pop the lid on top for about 10-15 minutes.

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Stir to mix the cheese, which should all be melted by now. Yum—just look at that. Give the soup a taste and add more salt and pepper if it needs it.

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Oh, baby. Perfect, perfect texture.

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Serve it up…

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Then, for good measure, add a sprinkling of cheese on top.

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Oh, and how about some crumbled club crackers?

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Not saltine crackers. Club crackers. The kind with butter. Of course!

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Dinner is served!

(Oh my word. You will love this. It’s perfect.)