DIRECTV, PA—Citing the rising cost of major metropolitan sponsorship, municipal officials announced Wednesday that, effective Nov. 1 of this year, the city once known as Philadelphia will now be called DirecTV, PA after the cream cheese company opted to discontinue its long-held naming rights to the city. “The name change will obviously take some getting used to, as well as significant signage changes we assume will be partially subsidized by our eponymous satellite broadcasting company, but we urge the citizens of DirecTV to welcome our new corporate partners,” said DirectTV mayor Jim Kenney, reminding citizens that this was not the first time naming rights to the city have changed hands; prior to becoming Philadelphia in 1812, the city had been named American Fur Company, PA, a name it took on after 40 years of being known as Caswell–Massey, Family Purveyors Of Fine Soaps And Spices, PA. “Whether you’re watching a DirecTV Eagles game, touring historic DirecTV City Hall, or enjoying a night out at the DirecTV Philharmonic Orchestra, this is still a wonderful place to share with friends and family. That’s why it’s called ‘The NFL Sunday Ticket City Of Brotherly Love.’” City officials confirmed they have been congratulated by representatives of many cities around the globe, from Maruchan, Japan to Kars4Kids, NJ.