Not since Lazarus has the world heard of such an unbelievable rise.
On Monday, CNN posted video of pseudo-newsman Chris Cuomo “finally” emerging from self-quarantine in his Southampton basement — despite Cuomo having been out and about in East Hampton just last week, getting into a fight with a “jackass loser fat-tire biker” who dared to ask why an infected Cuomo was breaking quarantine. Without a face mask.
“Who the hell are you?” Cuomo replied. “I can do what I want.”
Yes: If we’ve learned anything about Chris Cuomo these past three weeks, it’s that he’s an insecure, self-important, entitled blowhard who suffers in the shadow of his much more accomplished and respected brother, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo.
Chris’ ratings must be something, though, because CNN just debased itself by posting and broadcasting this video, Chris in sweatpants and a hoodie, at the bottom of his basement stairs, declaring, “All right, here it is — the official re-entry from the basement.”
If anything screams coastal liberal elite media bubble, it’s CNN’s decision to air this latest piece of performance art from Chris Cuomo. He and Brian Williams should take it on the road.
“Cleared by CDC,” he goes on — no, not by a mere doctor for our Chris, but the nation’s health protection agency, clearly plenty of free time on its hands. Then he wipes his brow with an open palm as he oh-so-casually announces “a little sweaty — just worked out, it happens.”
See? He’s still a tough guy, despite those nightly freak-outs from his well-appointed, million-dollar basement in the Hamptons.
“This is what I’ve been dreaming of, literally, for weeks,” Chris goes on, a regular Anne Frank of coronavirus. Then he greets his clearly overjoyed family — his wife, speaking for us all as she puts her arms out and leans way back as if to say, STAY AWAY. His children look on expressionless, but who knows how many takes of this totally spontaneous, non-reunion reunion they’ve had to endure? They’re not SAG members.
Even Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s in-house medical expert, has had enough of Chris Cuomo’s coronavirus chronicles. Doing yeoman’s work as Chris’ split-screen counterpart lo these many weeks, Gupta’s face contorted as Chris announced his next on-air narrative: He may be cured, but the family now has lots of trauma to process.
So that’s something to look forward to.
At the end of his homemade video, Cuomo’s wife hands him a face mask. “This is for when we go outside,” Cuomo intones. “That’s what we have to do now, all of us in New York.”
Sure, Chris. You made it clear last week: You’ll do what you want, say what serves you.
And CNN will back this fake, childish nonsense all the way.