40 Things Southerners Say When It's Hot

There's something about Southern heat that speaks to us like nothing else.

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Updated on August 27, 2023

The South is a land of epic weather. In a single year, we can experience hurricanes, tornados, floods, droughts, a blizzard's worth of snow, and a heat index in the triple digits.

But there's something about Southern heat that speaks to us like nothing else. It's our sweat badge of courage—proof, in our minds, that we can stand mercury levels which would surely undo our northern brethren. And we do it gracefully. Southern women don't sweat—we "glisten."

The epicenter of heat-tolerance pride is, of course, Texas. Move there from anyplace else, and soon you'll be calling the folks back home, all full of yourself and spouting off about the cold snap you're having in Fort Worth, what with the temperature dipping down into the 90s. One Texan who was in the process of car shopping said she had two non-negotiable requirements for a vehicle: cruise control and air conditioning. And no wonder. It's entirely possible to get a February sunburn in Texas.

It's not enough, of course, for Southerners to bravely endure the heat. No, we need to talk about it—specifically, we search for ever more colorful ways of describing the heat's intensity. Recently, we polled our Southern braintrust on Facebook and asked for things Southerners say when it's hot. Let us know if we missed any.

woman sunbathing — And other things Southerners say when it's hot. Getty/Michael Ochs Archives

Classic Things Southerners Say When It’s Hot

These are the go-to sayings you’ll hear roll off the tongues of any neighbors passing thoughts on the weather in the Piggly Wiggly. When it’s this hot, sometimes there’s no way to avoid small talk about the temperature.

It's not the heat—it's the humidity.
Is it hot enough for ya?
Man, it's hot as all get-out!
It must be 90 in the shade.
This one's gonna be a scorcher.
You could fry an egg on the sidewalk.
You could fry an egg on the hood of that car.
It’s not a dry heat, that kind of heat is better. This is a wet heat.
Crank up that A.C. until it's blowing snowballs.
How many days until fall?

Things Southerners Say It’s Hotter Than

Hyperbole is a favorite among Southerners chatting about summer temps. Sometimes the things we compare the heat to don’t even make much sense.

It's hotter'n blue blazes.
It's hotter'n a blister bug in a pepper patch.
It's so dang hot that I just saw a hound dog chasing a rabbit—and they were both walking.
"Hotter than noon on the fourth of July," "hotter than a pepper sprout," and "hotter than a $2 pistol," came to us in song, thanks to Shenandoah, Johnny and June, and George "Possum" Jones, respectively.
Hotter than Georgia asphalt.

The Only Hotter Place We Talk About

We are reminded of the hottest place we've ever heard of (which we're not entirely comfortable saying out loud, so we sometimes spell it).

Hot as Hades
Hotter than H-E double hockey sticks
Hot as H-E double toothpicks
Hot as the hinges on the gates of Hades
Hotter than six shades of hell
Hotter than Satan's house cat
Even Satan's sweatin' today.
Hotter than hell and half of Georgia
Hotter than hell’s pepper patch
Hotter than the devil’s armpit

It’s So Hot…How Hot Is It?

If it’s so hot you’ve asked a friend, “Could I stick my face in your deep-freeze for just a second?” these are the saying for you. These similes and metaphors were born from porch sittin’ conversations, and they’ve been passed from porch to porch every summer.

It's so hot the swimming pool is boiling.
It's so hot the ice cream truck melted.
It's like a steam bath out here.
It's like walking through soup out here.
It’s like a sauna/steam room out there.

Southerners’ Physical Reactions To The Heat

The heat can have quite the effect on us, mentally and physically. And whether we wilt like a flower or sweat like a hog, we have quite colorful ways of describing how the heat gets to us.