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Skittles … but which is the deadly one?
Skittles … but which is the deadly one? Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo
Skittles … but which is the deadly one? Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

How Skittles became a bizarre metaphor for immigration

This article is more than 7 years old

Donald Trump Jr, the presidential candidate’s son, has compared Syrian refugees to poisoned sweets

Name: Skittles.

Age: 42.

Appearance: Sporadically deadly.

What the hell? I just ate some Skittles last week! Then you, my friend, should count yourself lucky. Did you know that in every bowl of Skittles, there are three that could kill you?

No! Is this an allergy thing? Nope, they just have the ability to kill you.

Good God, this is awful news! Which ones kill you? The green ones? No, it’s the, um, brown ones.

What are you talking about? There aren’t any brown Skittles. I know. But if there were, they would definitely kill you. There aren’t so they won’t, but if there were, then they would.

Seriously now, what’s going on? Don’t you get it? This is a clear and simple metaphor for immigration. Donald Trump Jr, the presidential candidate’s son, is all over it. Last night, he tweeted an image with the caption “If I had a bowl of skittles and I told you just three would kill you. Would you take a handful? That’s our Syrian refugee problem.”

What’s all that weird punctuation about? It reads like Christopher Walken dictated it while rollerskating down a cobbled hill. Stop being such an elitist and focus on the message.

Which is that Skittles are like immigrants, in that most are harmless but one or two might be murderers? Exactly!

I guess you could extrapolate that metaphor out to people who own guns, too. No! Just immigrants! Gun owners are nothing like Skittles. Anyone can see that.

Has Trump Jr’s tweet gone down well at Skittles HQ? Not exactly. Wrigley’s responded by saying: “Skittles are candy. Refugees are people. We don’t feel it is an appropriate analogy.” But then that’s exactly what they would say, the sympathisers.

They have a point, though. No, they don’t. It’s an entirely appropriate analogy. Skittles aren’t candy. They’re a threat to our national security.

Can’t you just admit that the tweet was a horrific dehumanisation of a community that sorely needs our help? Can’t you just answer me this: if I told you that three Skittles in every bowl could kill you, would you still eat a handful?

If it got me out of this poxy conversation, I’d eat the entire bowl. Fair point.

Do say: “Skittles: taste the rainbow of human life.”

Don’t say: “I’m Donald Trump and I approve this crazed, broken allegory for a problem that doesn’t really exist.”

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