The New Anti-Marijuana Dispensary Commercial For Massachusetts Is Laugh Out Loud Funny

I’m not a weed guy, that’s pretty well-established. It just makes me tired and I’m tired enough every second of my life so I don’t need that enhanced. But even as a non-weed guy I can see the benefits legal dispensaries because I’m pretty sure homeless ski bums in Colorado have just been warming their hands over burning barrels of money because the state has no clue what to do with all the extra cash they’ve been making.

However, I can also admit that this is an A+ commercial. A+++ in fact. Super, duper effective. Granted, none of it is true and it’s preying on the fears of fucking lunatics, but it’s just great marketing. Weed dispensaries will display edible candies that appeal to little children (I’m told this is an absolute lie and that you need to go into a backroom at a dispensary. I’m also told that their signs are not allowed to have any weed plants on it or anything and they have to be very nondescript)? They’ll sell these candies to little kids? Stoned teens will roam the streets while cop cars whizz by like a joint kicks off a GTA 5 star rating? That bitchy looking mom will realize that her shitty son, who’s of course named Kevin, has obtained a medical marijuana card without her knowledge and gone on to purchase a fucking bushel of marijuana? That’s not the Massachusetts I want for the future, folks. Not at all. Vote no on question 4!!!*

*I’m just kidding. Vote yes just because I want that fucking mom to be terrified too scared to ever step foot outside her house and on camera ever again.