Quarterback Better Snap The Ball, Reports Man Nervously Eyeing Play Clock

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MANSFIELD, OH—Frantically shifting his gaze between the field and play clock as the seconds wound down, local 34-year-old football fan Isaac Collins announced Sunday that the quarterback better hurry the hell up and snap the ball. “C’mon, only eight seconds left—what are you waiting for?” said Collins, carefully eyeing the small play clock graphic in the corner of the screen as the quarterback ran up to the line of scrimmage to call an audible. “Go already! Go!” At press time, Collins had unleashed a stream of expletives after the quarterback finally snapped the ball to a flurry of whistles and penalty flags.

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