A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
48,000 B.C.
First tree hugged
1970
Following the success of Rachel Carson’s book Silent Spring and the alarm caused by the Cuyahoga River fire, the Environmental Protection Agency is formed four decades too late
1971
Congress urged to restrict the use of lethal lead-based paint in homes, further demonstrating the EPA’s dastardly plot to strangle the free market
1972
Nixon signs the Great Lakes Water Quality Agreement after swallowing a plastic bag while swimming in Lake Erie
1980
New Superfund program requires corporate polluters to pay for the cost of cleanup unless they really, really, really don’t want to
1982
Golden age of asbestos draws to a close
1983
Original administrator William D. Ruckelshaus returns for a second term as part of an ongoing effort by the EPA to reuse things instead of throwing them away
1988
Bunch of snobbish homeowners decide they’re too good to inhale a little radon
1999
After nearly three decades of clean air efforts, sun is once again visible during the daytime in all 50 states
2007
EPA embraces the internet age by launching its first blog at a cost of $1.7 billion to taxpayers
2132
Agency secures funding to address Flint water crisis