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Priebus Grateful He Had So Little Dignity To Begin With

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WASHINGTON—Taking stock of his present circumstances as he packed up his belongings and exited the West Wing after being pushed out of office by the president of the United States, former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus expressed a sense of gratitude Friday that he had so little dignity to begin with. “I’m just lucky that I came into this role with effectively no personal honor whatsoever, or this could have really stung,” said Priebus, who explained that, having spent years overseeing the Republican Party and suffering regular mockery and derision at the hands of his colleagues and regular citizens alike, his unceremonious ouster from one of the highest political positions in the United States could, at this point, largely just roll off his back. “I can’t imagine how awful it would have been to be fired by the president over social media—not to mention, just one day after a new colleague of mine accused me of being a paranoid schizophrenic in front of the nation—if I happened to be someone who engendered even a modicum of respect or esteem from others. But I don’t, so it really isn’t that bad.” Priebus added that he was confident he could ultimately bounce back from the firing, saying his absence of dignity and ability to debase himself and the American people would surely help him land on his feet in Washington.