Epicurious users are very vocal about their recipes. But we've never seen anything like the shocking 908 comments on our recipe for Salted Water for Boiling. The recipe (if you can call it that) came from the November 2001 issue of Gourmet, and it started out as a humble note at the end of a printed recipe. But on its journey from the magazine to Epicurious' database, the tip managed to score its very own recipe page, and it all went south from there.
"Salted Water for Boiling" soon became infamous for its mysteriously empty ingredient list and an almost John Wayne-like instruction: "When salting water for cooking, use 1 tablespoon of salt for every 4 quarts of water."
But instead of merely dismissing the recipe as a random internet blip, you guys took it seriously. To the point of absurdity. And the comments started rolling in.
Some of you pretended to be offended. Horribly offended.
"Not being very religious, I made the ULTIMATE mistake when preparing this for the parents of my sons Jewish girlfriend! Seriously?!? Sea Salt is NOT the same as Kosher Salt!?!?! How was I to know??? My guests were horribly insulted and my son is no longer speaking to me. Tagging this with the religiously correct ingredients would have averted a nightmare for me. Thanks for nothing Epicurious."—PALCON FROM AMHERST, OH
Then there were the folks who did some good old-fashioned Epi recipe tweaking.
"I boiled it for an hour. When there was barely any left, I added 6 ounces of vodka and a thimble full of vermouth, added some ice, and strained it into a chilled martini glass. Added an olive. Thanks Epicurious! You're the best!"—DMCPDC FROM WELLESLEY, MA
Many, many users still managed to invent struggle with burning questions about the dish.
"Wait, does the water need to be at a full rolling boil, or is it okay if it's just simmering? And should I wait to add the salt until it's boiling, or is it okay to add salt to cold water? Is iodized salt okay? I wish someone would fix the clarity and detail issues with this recipe. Clearly there are a lot of us out here with questions."—VALEREEE FROM CINCINNATI
But hopefully, no innocent users will experience the dark fate of this California inmate.
"See...I read this all wrong. It says 'Salted Water for Boiling', but somehow I saw 'Boiling Water for Assaulting'. I'm writing this review from prison (where, ironically, my version of the recipe has proved rather handy). Gotta go, I'm in the middle of whittling a french press from soapstone with Andy Dufresne."—A COOK FROM FOLSOM PRISON
The recipe even triggered an Arrested Development reference.
"Go out to a nice dinner, say Arby's or somesuch. Take home your leftovers, throw it in the pot with the water and the salt, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going."—A COOK
And of course, the Canadians didn't know what to make of it.
"As a Canadian, I am on the metric system and have no idea what a quart is. Furthermore, I had to substitute beavers for the salt, and beer for water. The boiling process caused my igloo to melt, leaving me homeless. Two forks."—RUBYDOOMSDAY FROM CANADA CITY, CANADA
But as with most recipes, it all comes down to a matter of taste.
"Too salty."—FANTASTICA
Think you can do better? Hungry for more? Check out the recipe page, where there are 901 more comments—and counting.
