Whether it’s giving you the lowdown on viral “hacks” like the Kivin Method, dishing out tips on how to give the dreamiest blow jobs or teaching you how to lick someone out really, really well, we make it our business to be well-versed on all things oral sex.
Because of all that time practising, thinking, researching and writing about going down, we also know that it can get, well, kind of boring. Sure, you might be able to get your partner from A to Z if your technique is good, but what about the spark, the excitement and the – dare we say it – drama? Anyone that’s been in a monogamous relationship for any length of time knows what we’re talking about here…and equally might be all ears for what we’re about to say.
In the interests of spicing up all things in the bedroom, not just sex of the penetrative variety, we’re coming at you with a host of hot af oral sex positions from Alix Fox: a writer, sex educator and broadcaster, who even served as a script consultant on Sex Education (coolest job ever alert!).
1. The Picnic
This is a great move to pull out of the basket if you want to give your partner an oral experience that’s intense in terms of varied, exciting sensations, but also supremely relaxing and physically unchallenging for both of you: no-one’s enjoyment is - ahem - hampered by having to pretzel themselves into complicated, hard-to-sustain poses, and it’s easy for the giver to take an anti-jaw-ache break whenever they need. It suits all genders and most body types: a real blanket approach!
How to do it: Spread a soft throw on the floor, and ask the receiver to lay down on their back, using cushions to get cosy if they need. Place a blindfold over their eyes for an added sensory surprise. If you wish, amp up the escapism and sense of total immersion by fitting headphones, and playing the soundtrack from a sexually charged movie, or a recording of rain, the ocean, or a crackling fire – the ‘Soundscapes’ available on meditation app Headspace are ideal.
Ann Summers Signature Faux Leather Blindfold
Ann Summers Signature Faux Leather Blindfold
Next, spread out your banquet of delicious goodies: lubricants to drizzle; sex toys to tease; a cold metal chain necklace chilled in the fridge to be trailed down thighs (provided it won’t snag hairs) or wound around nipples; a pair of silky knickers or a satin dressing gown tie to smooth across skin… a buffet of items with which to create different sensations in between kissing, licking and sucking.
If your playmate has a penis, check out the range of Tenga Spinner ‘stroker sleeves’: soft, stretchy cylinders that you lube up then slip onto an erection, before gripping your palm around them and sliding them up and down, just like you were giving a hand job. Each one has a different stimulating texture inside, to stroke against the shaft and head, and contains a clever core made of rigid plastic, which makes the toy automatically spin in a corkscrew motion as you move it.
Tenga TENGA Spinner Tetra Textured Male Masturbator
Tenga TENGA Spinner Tetra Textured Male Masturbator
The sensation is kinda like amped-up oral, with a (literal) twist – and it’s a clever way of giving a ‘faux blow’ without having to use your mouth. One mate described the feeling as being “like an awesome BJ, but remixed.” Mega-mix things further by using lubricants of different viscosities, to make the internal ridges feel more grippy, slippy or defined against the skin – a true connoisseur flourish.
2. The Chair and Prayer
This pose is superb for ‘switches’: people who like to flit between being dominant and submissive during sex.
How to do it: The receiver sits on a chair, thighs spread, and the giver kneels at their feet, as though in prayer. If the giver’s feeling subby, their wrists can be handcuffed to the legs of the chair; this means they can’t use their fingers to stimulate either their partner or themselves, and must rely entirely on oral skills alone. The receiver should make sure they appreciate their pet’s hard work and let them take a breather if they need by allowing them to rest their head on their master’s thigh for a moment while their hair is tenderly stroked, and they are praised for their dedicated service.
Alternatively, roles can be reversed by tying the receiver to the back of the chair. Try moving the chair to different rooms; positioning it in front of a mirror; or placing it in the centre of the space, shackling the submissive partner in place, then walking around them, appraising and commanding – you can easily create a heightened sense of ritualistic drama and anticipation.
3. The Lock 'n' Stocks
Another perfect oral sex position for power play fans, this one gives the receiver all the control. Both barrels.
How to do it: First, the receiver lays on their back, with their knees bent upwards. The giver gets on all fours, facing them, resting on their elbows rather than their hands, and with their head between their lover’s legs.
The receiver then clamps their thighs together to ‘lock’ their partner’s head between them, and holds their wrists, as though in ‘stocks’. They can choose to grip the giver’s face in place while they’re licking and sucking them, so they can’t stop (boundaries, consent and safety signals having been clearly discussed in advance, of course); or instead to hold their head tantalisingly, excruciatingly out of reach of their beautiful vulva/cock, until they beg for a taste.
4. The Babysitter
It’s easy to see why the concept of ‘facesitting’ appeals to so many: the sitter gets to feel powerfully dominant, and savour maximum face-to-special-place contact, while for the person whose chops are being straddled like a saddle and ridden like a rodeo bull, it can be the ultimate in submission, and feeling totally enveloped in the warmth, taste and scent of a lover’s vulva can be a particularly head-swimmingly heady way to give head.
But for others, it’s precisely all these extreme elements that make facesitting sit less comfortably with them. Would-be-sitters fret that they’re going to squash or asphyxiate their partner, while would-be-sat-uponners worry about feeling claustrophpbic and vulnerable. The Babysitter offers a less full-on way to more gently experiment with this act, rather than totally sitting it out.
How to do it: The giver lays on their back on the bed, and the receiver kneels with their knees either side of their lover’s head, facing forwards. Then, instead of – for want of a better term – faceplanting themselves down fully, they hover over the giver’s mouth so they can delicately tease them with their breath. When the giver is ready, they can use their hands to pull down on their partner’s thighs and guide them towards their mouth and tongue, pushing back up when they need to catch their breath. The Babysitter is all about slow, light movements and the giver feeling reassuringly in control.
Leaning forward and holding onto the headboard can give the receiver more stability, while kneeling on pillows helps take strain off the knees, and lifts the pussy further away from the face so no-one gets muffled by muff until they wish to be. A pal who recently became a mum found that those horseshoe-shaped pregnancy pillows serve excellent double duty in this pose!
5. The Watering Hole
A shared shower is the ideal spot for beginners to venture into analingus, ass licking or rimming. Take your time to sensuously soap and rinse your partner’s ass first, so there are no nerves from either party about cleanliness, then get them to face the wall and part their legs while you slide down and squat behind them. If the shower has a removable head, have them hold it and direct it against their nipples for extra stimulation (or their clit/penis if they can manage to angle the spray so it doesn’t jet straight through their thighs and into your eyes!).
Don’t just dart your tongue straight into their butt hole, like you’re trying to win a speedboat on Bullseye. Instead, alternate between dancing around the opening with the very tip; to licking broad, greedy strokes; to drawing zigzag or spiral patterns all over the hypersensitive surrounding skin. Soak a sponge and squeeze it at the top of their crack, so the warm water (or cold, if you want to play with temperature too) flows down the cleft between their buttocks. Ass-tronomically good.
6. Bunnilingus
Named in honour of the famous rabbit vibrator, ‘Bunnilingus’ is the act of a woman or vagina-having person using sex toys to simulate oral sex upon themselves. According to a 2017 study conducted by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington, women rate having a partner go down on them as one of the top appealing bedroom behaviours – but it’s a hard sensation to accurately replicate alone. That said, toy companies are edging ever closer to getting it licked.
A fave at Cosmopolitan UK is LELO's Sona 2 Cruise. This nifty little sucker uses air pulse technology to gently caress your clit without actually making it contact with it. Thanks to that, many people find they can use Sona Cruise for longer as their clit doesn't get over stimulated. Make sure you use plenty of lube to get the best seal.
Womanizer is a German company whose devices all feature their own patented ‘Pleasure Air Technology’: they use pulses of air to create a unique sucking sensation on the clitoris, partly inspired by the sensations of oral. Whilst most of their toys – like the dinky new Starlet – are only designed to be used externally, the Duo model also features a vibrating vaginal G-spot probe.
Womanizer Starlet 2 Rechargeable Clitoral Suction Stimulator
The adorable Iroha Kushi vibe – which looks like squishy seashell – wasn’t developed to imitate oral sex, but if you smooth warm lube over its marshmallow-soft, ribbed ‘fins’ and brush them back and forth against your folds, it’s a divine oral-adjacent sensation; think of it as an artistic interpretation. Continue the marine theme by downloading Dipsea: an app that lets you listen to erotic audio stories focused on female pleasure, with plenty themed around going downtown. Take a dip…and get wet.
This article was originally published in 2019 and has since been updated by in-house Cosmopolitan UK staff.
