From anti-gentrification protesters trashing the Cereal Killer cafe in London to stand-up rows in the streets of Brooklyn, the G word is on everyone’s lips. Now, however, we’ve been given the final word on the vexed issues of social policy and economic development in our cities – courtesy of an episode of South Park entitled The City Part of Town (series 19, episode 3). So what lessons did we learn?
1. You can gentrify anywhere
Mayor McDaniels realises her Colorado town has an image problem. Across the US, South Park has become a byword for rednecks in snorkel parkas harbouring political views so retrograde they’d make Donald Trump blush – in Mr Garrison’s case, a racist presidential campaign platform of expelling all Canadians. So the mayor decides to back a new urban development, one that will “turn round the most run-down and dilapidated part of our town into a quaint centre of artisan shops and cafes”.
The eyesore of south South Park is to become a rebranded zone with funky new businesses attracted by brick walkways and old-fashioned street lights. It’s a blueprint for urban renewal that has worked in Berlin’s Mitte, New York’s Lower East Side and London’s Shoreditch – so why not South Park too?
2. ... as long as it’s crappy
At a public meeting, Kenny’s blue-collar dad Stuart protests. Why can’t they gentrify the area near Randy Marsh’s house, rather than his? Because, Randy retorts, he lives in a nice house. For British viewers, this helps explain why Shoreditch could be gentrified, while Potter’s Bar will forever remain beyond redemption.
3. Don’t gentrify everything
In any self-respecting gentrification project, it’s crucial to retain a few low-income proles from the community. Or as the Whole Foods representative who comes to South Park to inspect the new project puts it: “I enjoy how you’ve retained the lower-income housing with the updated and quaint urban developments.” Clearly, the new luxury residential developments of The Residences @ The Lofts wouldn’t have the same appeal without their unbeatable view of Historic Kenny’s House.
4. Acronyms are the gentrifier’s friend
Neighbourhood rebranding is all the rage, and there’s no easier method than the humble acronym. By virtue of its location south of downtown South Park, the new zone will, the mayor announced, be named SoDo SoPa. “Sleek, sexy ... so SoDo SoPa.” Just listen to all those sexy single sibilant syllables. But acronyms are just the beginning: new retail opportunities can also have earthy, muscular names like Steed, the Stag and Brighton’s. One restaurant in Sodo Sopa is called Vernacular.
5. Ethical and/or organic retailers are essential
“What this town needs is a Whole Foods,” Randy tells a public meeting. “It would instantly validate us as a town that cares about stuff.” (Needless to say, despite SoDo SoPa’s complete lack of theatres, concert halls, gigs or galleries, the arts must be at the heart of SoDo SoPa too.)
6. Gentrification improves diversity
In the new, gentrified vision of South Park, homosexual, black and disabled schoolchildren sit prominently in the front row of the class, at least until visitors leave. The residential developments, meanwhile, gives incomers “a chance to mingle with people from all kinds of economic background” – but at a safe distance.
7. Existing businesses are the enemy
Tuong Lu Kim, the Chinese guy who runs the City Wok cafe, loses his customer base to SoDo SoPa’s hipster restaurants. So he teams up with Red Lobster and Whistlin’ Willie’s Pizza Gulch to create a rival urban zone, Shi Tpa Town: one that’s even grungier and more real than SoDo SoPa. To compete, he employs his secret weapon: underage workers.
8. Street brawls can’t be ruled out
Says Randy of Kim’s decision to employ Kenny and other kids: “Why do the economically poor screw up everything?” The resulting brawl to prevent child labour ultimately wins South Park its coveted Whole Foods store, whose representative says, impressed: “I’ve never seen a town put so much energy into displaying an exaggerated sense of social consciousness.”
9. The feelings of local people are important (in theory)
“We realise that when a development like this takes place, lower-income people fear they will be priced out,” Randy explains. And then he kind of trails off ...
10. Problematic locals can be repurposed as unwitting members of a vibrant street-theatre culture
A promotional video for the SoDo SoPa luxury apartment complex shows what the completed development will look like. In the foreground, hipsters in designer swimwear sip daiquiris in high-end hot tubs, while in the background, Kenny’s dad shouts at his wife: “Shut your damn mouth, bitch!” To which she retorts, understandably: “And your shut you damned mouth or I’ll shut it for you!” The video voiceover puts the whole thing this way: “Now you can relax at the deck spa, while taking in views of that mixed SoDo SoPa culture.”
Follow Guardian Cities on Twitter and Facebook to join the discussion
Comments (…)
Sign in or create your Guardian account to join the discussion