I've always joked with my married friends that I did it right by getting divorced: I get time off when my kids go to their dad. While other parts of being a parent on your own might not always be easy, when my kids are with their dad, I can actually try to relax, do whatever I want and even travel. (This did take time getting used to, and the reality isn't always easy.)
Then, when I was diagnosed with cancer, being a parent on my own — or an "independent" mom, as I like to say — became more complicated. Worried thoughts run through my head about what happens should treatment not be successful. Besides that, the added stress of going through treatment yet being "on" and "not sick" for my kids all the time was, and is, a lot.
My doctors all said it would be a long first year after my diagnosis. It was. Now that I'm through with most of my hospital treatments and looking ahead to them finishing completely this year, though, there are new obstacles to tackle.
As I faced last year's treatments, I planned parties, dinners and special time with friends and family in order to have something to look forward to. That is what got me through so much.
So, when my first mammogram post-diagnosis was scheduled for the start of 2017, on top of the stress of having to find new health insurance and the added weight of my humiliation and experience with the TSA, I did what I wish I could do more often. I planned a last minute getaway with my mom to Sea Island, Georgia.
I didn't realize how important this was. For me. For my health. For my mom, who has been a second mom to my kids and is equally stressed seeing her daughter go through life as a future cancer survivor.
We had three days of nothing. We had three days of so much. We slept for almost 11 hours per night (clearly much needed!). Gone was the thought of being "sick." I haven't felt this healthy and alive in a long time.
My kids tease me that I'm quirky. I'm scared of animals, yet I challenged myself to go for a horse back ride on the beach. To work out, I have only taken spin classes. Here, I challenged myself to take a mind and body strengthening class. I normally watch what I eat and drink. Here, I just enjoyed the delicious food and wine (and came back without regrets but definitely wanting to lose a few!).
I had nowhere to be. No doctors to see. No pickups to run to. No homework to deal with. No work that was imminent. It was just me, hanging with my mom, in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to.
I came home happier. I came home relaxed. I came home feeling healthy. My mammogram confirmed that just a few days ago.
Now, though, I'm sure my married friends don't envy me as I start to educate myself on something I know nothing about: health insurance. As a divorced person, I was lucky enough to have a Cobra plan for a few years. It's about to run out. I know so many people don't have health insurance, and ObamaCare is a big topic of national debate. My hospital apparently doesn't even participate with that anyway, so I've got to explore the options available to me. More to come on this quest.
I may need to go back to Sea Island soon, but first, I need to deal with my reality. Fortunately, I'm well-rested and healthier than I've been in a long time.
