News & Advice

26 Cruising Myths Debunked

We’ve sorted through the misinformation and clichés to identify the most exciting innovations, trends, and strategies that will forever change the way you think about cruising.

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The mission of this cruise guide is twofold: to proselytize to the skeptical and to inspire the converted. While few vacations have the potential to satisfy everyone from can’t-sit-still toddlers to sedentary patriarchs, it’s precisely the one-size-fits-all promise of cruises that can rankle newbies. But the reality is that cruising has never been less one-size-fits-all than it is today. With hundreds of vessels in the water, from 225,000-ton, 5,400-passenger floating cities to intimate salons-at-sea for a handful of like-minded souls, it’s easier than ever to find a cruise that aligns with your tastes and passions. We’ve sorted through the myths, misinformation, and clichés to identify the most exciting innovations, most interesting trends, and need-to-know strategies that will forever change the way you think about cruising—whether it’s your first sail or your fiftieth. By the time you finish our guide, we hope you’ll be thinking what we were: Where should I go first?

1. Cruises are for lazy people.

Anyone who thinks cruising is just about being catatonic on a deck chair will be checking their blood pressure after a day spent on these high-octane attractions. Leading the way in the battle between the lines is Royal Caribbean’s wind-tunnel skydiving simulator on Quantum of the Seas. Then there’s Disneys AquaDunk (a waterslide that launches with a trap door) and AquaDuck (a four-story “water coaster” that swerves over the edge of the ship). And on Norwegian’s Breakaway, passengers can balance on a beam that juts out over the water, 180 feet below. Presumably this version of walking the plank is no longer considered a punishment for mutiny.

2. They've lost their charm, their glamour.

As air travel has lost its glamour, let’s pause to praise the classic splendors of the high seas. Because where else can you channel your tuxedoed inner James Bond at the roulette table before hitting the midnight chocolate buffet? Other old-school favorites: shuffleboard, captain’s cocktail parties, afternoon bingo, and that most recherché display—the parade of waiters bearing flaming baked Alaska on MSC Cruises.

3. They're cheap and chintzy.

As with new humans, godmothers play a key role in the christening of ships. But here the ceremony happens with a dramatic crack of a Moët bottle across the bow. Recently, godmothers—usually movie stars or royalty—have served as muses to ships’ decor as well. The S.S. Catherine, a Uniworld river cruiser, is adorned with jewel-toned glass, Louis XVI–style chairs, and other hallmarks of French opulence befitting namesake Catherine Deneuve. Other luminaries include the Duchess of Cambridge, who launched the gold-clad Royal Princess; and Sophia Loren, who stares at you from oversized portraits in her Venetian red suite on MSC’s Divina. What, you were expecting subtlety?

4. All cabins are created equal.

Ocean liners may resemble floating hotels, but reserving a cabin requires altogether different strategies. Travel specialists Linda Allen and Tom Baker and cruise reporters Sherri Eisenberg and Carolyn Spencer Brown offer a pre-booking primer.

  • If you’ll be spending most days at the pool, avoid cabins that require two elevators and a ship-length walk to get there—and back in a wet swimsuit.

  • Mid-ship and aft-facing balconied suites with dramatic views that overlook the ship’s wake sell out first. Reserve these at least nine months in advance.

  • If you’re prone to seasickness, steer clear of the bow and stern, where wave action is noticeable, and opt for an ocean-view cabin (windows let you gaze at the stable horizon line).

  • Check the deck-by-deck plans for proximity to noisy elevators, restaurants, entertainment venues, and high-traffic areas. Remember, you don’t want to have to endure the insistent late-night thump of the nightclub or the rearranging of pool furniture above your head. Private outdoor space is crucial, especially if your itinerary includes many days at sea. Request a balcony if your budget allows. Some ships permit smoking on balconies, so check your cruise line’s policy lest you suffer every time your neighbor lights up.

5. Decorum? On a cruise ship?

In actuality, etiquette really does matter at sea. Here's the deal:

Know your dress code. Denim is discouraged after 6 p.m. on Cunard, and gentlemen will almost certainly need a tux for formal nights on most ships.

Remember the exact departure times for a day in port. You don’t want to be the last one back on board (you’d be surprised how many people miss the boat, literally).

Take the stairs. If you’re able-bodied, leave the packed elevators to those who need them. (Bonus: You work off what you ate at the buffet.)

6. We won't go anywhere exciting.

What do the Irrawaddy and the Mekong in Southeast Asia, the Chobe in Africa, and the Amazon have in common? They’re best seen on a river cruise. The Ama-Pura debuts this November with seven-night tours of Burma. The Aqua Mekong offers four-night sojourns between Siem Reap and Phnom Penh, Cambodia. The Zambezi Queen gets you up close to southern African wildlife. And the Aria floats the remote waters of deepest Peru.

7. I'll get sick.

Relax, it’s not so bad: According to the CDC, there have been only eight major norovirus outbreaks on board in 2014 at press time, making 1,454 passengers reach for the Imodium—just 0.013 percent of the 11 million Americans who cruise each year. (By comparison, there are 20 million outbreaks a year on land.) Remember to use the hand-sanitizer stations and wash your hands often with soap. If an outbreak does occur, keep to your stateroom.

8. I'll never be alone. Ever.

We get it. You want to take a cruise but you’re nervous about mingling (i.e., being trapped) with hundreds of fellow passengers for days at a time. Happily, cruise lines get it too. A few now offer ship-within-a-ship club areas. Check out The Haven on Norwegian’s ships, an enclave of 42 cabins with its own bar, restaurant, and pool.

9. There's no sign of intelligent life.

Some people claim cruises aren’t intellectually stimulating. We beg to differ. Seabourn’s Conversations series targets travelers whose ideal beach read is more A People’s History of the United States than 50 Shades of Grey. Speakers include Walter Robinson, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist (October 30, 2017), and cultural historian Peter Quartermaine (September 4, 2017). Meanwhile, Paul Gauguin Cruises arranges dives with oceanographer Jean-Michel Cousteau.

10. I won't be ale to really relax.

Spas are big business, and Princess Cruises’ Diamond ups the ante with its $30 million open-air Japanese bathhouse—the world’s largest afloat. The indoor/outdoor garden retreat covers 8,000 square feet and includes separate facilities for men and women, showers, saunas, and a rustic stone bath with panoramic windows and skylights for unobstructed views of the sea. And you thought a mani-pedi was luxurious.

11. Clogged port towns and overrun beaches? No thanks.

Silversea’s newest ship, the Silver Discoverer, takes you (for 18 days) where few travelers have gone before. Lacking road connections to the rest of the world, Russia’s remote Kamchatka Peninsula is accessible only by air and sea, keeping it nearly pristine with isolated towns and few people but lots of arctic foxes, reindeer, brown bears, and wolverines in a dramatic landscape of volcanoes, tundra, and hot springs.

Illustrations by Mary Matson

12. The food isn't fresh.

  • Once a monoculture of high-end hotel cuisine, cruise-ship restaurants are now updating their offerings with regional specialties, like these: On Disney’s Alaskan cruises, chefs chargrill elk tenderloin, line-caught halibut, and fresh sockeye salmon when sailing through Tracy Arm Fjord.

  • In spring, the chefs of Tauck’s newest river ships, the Inspire and Savor, get their white asparagus from towns along the Danube, Rhine, and Moselle rivers.

  • American Cruise Lines’ Queen of the West paddle wheeler, which plies the Columbia River through Washington and Oregon, serves Pacific Northwest wines and offers tours of five local wineries. On select Silversea cruises, the Relais & Châteaux L’École des Chefs classes include “Market to Table” land tours.

  • Unusual spices, exotic fruit, and fiery chili peppers will feature prominently on Silver Wind’s Dubai-to-Singapore sailing this November.

13. We won't see much off-ship.

Got six months free? Then we’ve got the cruise for you: Oceania’s “Around the World in 180 Days” circumnavigates the globe from January 6 through July 6, 2017, and offers exotic excursions to Singapore, Egypt, New Zealand, and more. All yours for a cool $38,999.

14. We'll always have Alaska.

Antarctica is one of the final frontiers, but don’t wait too long to visit. As a NASA scientist puts it, “The [West Antarctica ice sheet] has passed the point of no return.” Consider a ten-day itinerary with Silversea’s Silver Explorer or Grand Circle’s Corinthian.

15. Who has the time?

A two- or three-week cruise sounds nice in theory, but shorter voyages—from a long weekend to a week—are attracting a younger crowd who are less inclined to use up vacation days on a single trip. Cunard sails from N.Y.C. to Halifax, Nova Scotia, in just five days, while Holland America has a four-day Pacific Coast journey from Vancouver to San Diego.

16. There's not enough room at the pool, the table, or anywhere else.

Poolside deck chairs are a hot commodity on days at sea, so claim one with a towel before breakfast (ideally by 7 a.m.). Just don’t linger over your omelet: Our experts say it’s a courtesy to return within an hour. As for dinner, if there are two seatings, reserve the late slot (usually 8 p.m.) or risk dining among cranky toddlers on the brink of their bedtime.

17. Cruise lines don't get me.

From J.R.R. Tolkien superfans to microbrew enthusiasts, there’s now a niche voyage for just about everyone.

For the gourmands: “Top Chef at Sea” on Celebrity, “Virtual Winery at Sea” on MSC’s Divina

For the workout warriors: Bend and stretch on Yoga Cruise’s yacht, Golf cruise on Crystal

For the music lovers: Holy Ship! electronic dance music cruise on MSC’s Divina, Country music cruise on Holland America’s Eurodam, “Grammy Festival at Sea: Women Who Rock!” on Norwegian

18. There's no such thing as deals.

In the fall and spring, ships change itineraries, or reposition, to prepare for their summer and winter seasons, sailing from, say, the Bahamas to Europe or Mexico to Alaska. This means huge deals for you. “In April, the Regent Seven Seas Mariner begins an 18-day sail from Rio to Venice,” travel specialist Richard Turen says. “It costs thousands less than a cruise of similar length.”

19. I'll get bored, and fast.

How do you make a 168,000-ton, 4,180-passenger ship stand out even more? You add a Ferris wheel–inspired observation pod called the North Star that towers high above the top deck—up to 300 feet above the waterline—for tremendous 360-degree views. That’s what Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas did, but it’s not alone. An increasing number of dazzling bells and whistles have been popping up on ships recently. Seabourn’s Marina Day is a water-sports platform that folds out from the back of the ship, and Norwegian’s Breakway has its Boardwalk, a quarter-mile-long, restaurant-lined, ocean-facing promenade. There are even Broadway-inspired shows that rival terra firma productions—Aladdin, Legally Blonde—on Disney and Norwegian.

20. I won't see anything off the beaten path.

See Antarctica's islands, oceans, and everything in between. G Adventures' Expedition has a 22-day trip that begins in Montevideo and takes you down to the Falkland Islands, South Georgia, and South Shetland Islands, then drops you off in Ushuaia. The itinerary includes golfing at Port Stanley (capital of Falkland Islands), whale watching in the Southern Ocean, and sailing through the Drake Passage.

21. Port cities have terrible transportation.

It used to be that when your ship arrived at a port city, you and every other passenger made a beeline for the taxi queue, where the long lines would delay you from venturing to destinations farther inland. But now there’s the taxi-hailing app Uber—available in 79 countries and including port cities like Rotterdam, Lima, and Sydney—so you’ll never have to waste precious sightseeing time again.

22. There aren't many perks.

Luxury service doesn’t end when you disembark—so say Windstar and Crystal, two lines that offer exclusive perks off the ship. Passengers on Windstar’s Wind Surf can watch Monaco’s Grand Prix from the harbor-view K grandstand, and Crystal organizes private helicopter rides over The Lord of the Rings movie locales, departing from Dunedin, New Zealand.

23. I have to plan it all myself.

Do you know which cabins have exposed beams or oddly placed vents or are near a noisy fitness center? Travel specialists who deal exclusively with cruises do. Some of them can even score stateroom upgrades, better dinner seatings, and spa credits. View our list of experts here.

24. The views are modest.

Celebrity Cruises’ Reflection Suite is a standout for a few reasons: First, it has two spacious bedrooms and a butler who’s on call 24/7 to help with everything from unpacking to preparing afternoon tea. Then there’s its sleek all-glass shower that juts out over the ocean—the exterior coating of reflective material ensures that you (and yours) are the only ones with an unforgettable view.

25. The yachts have gotten yucky.

Yachts have been getting super-sized and tricked out with helicopter landing pads and wacky waterslides. However, we prefer ours—like these two recently restored ships—to be more Jackie O. than Real Housewives.

M/Y Sherakhan: This 1965 commercial vessel now includes a private spa, a two-story dining room, and space for 26 guests for around-the-world sails.

M/Y Grace: Renamed for her former owner, Princess Grace of Monaco, this 1928 Camper & Nicholsons yacht sails the Galápagos with room for 18.

26. I'll have to leave my health at the harbor.

In the past, cruises were associated with 24-hour heart-clogging buffets—not with promoting health and well-being. Times have changed. Crystal Cruises’ “Mind, Body and Spirit” journey offers daily yoga and Pilates plus lectures from behavioral health Ph.D.’s on stress management and sleep techniques.