COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA—As he trumpeted his comprehensive knowledge of the manifold ways that the religious group has colluded to consolidate global power, sources confirmed Wednesday that local man Will Logan, an expert on the international Jewish conspiracy, has never been more than 40 miles outside of Council Bluffs, IA. “The banks, the media, Hollywood—they control it all,” said Logan, a leading authority on the shadowy cabal of Jewry that spans every nation on earth, as well as a man who has never ventured as far as Des Moines, driven for more than an hour in any direction, or boarded an airplane. “They write all the laws themselves and just hand them to the politicians. All those elected officials, they’re just puppets.” Logan, who has also never read a history book, later described how the conspiracy went back centuries.