In her most on-the-nose gig since performing “Holding Out For A Hero” while standing in line at her favorite submarine sandwich shop, celebrated ’80s chanteuse Bonnie Tyler has announced that she’ll be performing her hit song “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” during next week’s solar eclipse. Not only will Tyler be bringing out the Jim Steinman-penned tune for audiences at a Monday, August 21 gig on a Royal Caribbean cruise line, but she’s also trimmed the song down to better fit the moment. (After all, nobody wants to be stuck standing around for two extra minutes of music, completely unaccompanied by the splendor of the continuing cosmic ballet.)
As fans of basic astronomical science know, a total eclipse of the sun happens when the moon passes in between the Earth and the sun, briefly blocking out its light. A total eclipse of the heart, meanwhile, only occurs when your love is like a shadow on us, all the time, and we think we’re falling in love, but we’re actually only falling apart. (Most astronomers consider this a significantly more common celestial event.)