That was an exercise in existentialism that has robbed me of any thoughts. Thanks for sticking with me, if you did stick with me. I hope your day gets better. I really do. There’ll be a match report here shortly. I feel for whoever had to write it. In the meantime see if there’s anything more exciting on offer in the 3pm games.

Nope. Gray floats it in and, after a loose clearance, Ulloa heads at Guzan. And that is that. Ninety-five minutes of nothingness is over.

Still 90+5 min: Ulloa wallops a shot at goal that is blocked and the ball breaks to Musa, who is fouled by Ramirez. A free-kick 25 yards out on the left. Can Leicester salvage anything from this dog’s dinner of a game?

90+5 min: Fabio whips a ball in to Downing. You guess whether anything happened next.

90+4 min: I agree with this.

90+2 min: In the buildup to that effort by Ulloa, Clayton was booked for what must have been his 112th foul. Bobby Madley spotted one at last.

90+1 min: A decent break by Leicester results in Albrighton finding Ulloa’s forehead and the ball finding the roof of the net.

90 min: Some wicked deviant has decided that there will be five more minutes of this.

88 min: A series of about 72 sterile Boro passes ends when Fabio hoiks the ball across the Riverside towards Friend on the left and out for a goal-kick. Yup. Leadbitter is on for Forshaw.

85 min: Boro have had 63% possession but created next to nothing. They look solid, of course, but they’ll need to start scoring soon to make sure they avoid being dragged into the filthy business of a relegation scrap.

84 min: Mendy’s day is over. I remember him fouling someone but doing little else. He’s replaced by Albrighton.

81 min: Fabio plays a lazy cross into the box that kicks up in front of Morgan forcing him to head poorly into the path of Ramirez. He’s eight yards out and should score but drags his left-footed shot a foot wide of the right-hand post. That, like this game, was abysmal. Ramirez is such a classy player too. Maybe it was the lactic acid.

80 min: Leicester have a rare attack. It comes to nowt but that’s the first they have had in a long while.

79 min: Traore and his lack of an end product are replaced by Stewart Downing, who has made a career out of lacking an end product. That’s something for Traore to cling to as he skulks off to the bench.

78 min: Musa has been clipped by Clayton and left on the deck holding his ankle. No foul was given. Clayton has got away with a lot in this game.

74 min: A corner for Boro. A clearance by Leicester. Boro are completely in control but Leicester’s defence has hardly been ruffled all game. And I’m not sure Rudy Gestede is what this Boro team needs. They need someone who can run.

72 min: Mahrez and Okazaki have been hauled off by Ranieri and replaced by Gray and Musa. In the meantime, this is by far the most exciting thing that has happened in the past 72 minutes.

70 min: And then Forshaw has an equally fine chance to score for Boro following a beautiful arcing cross from the left from Friend that bends in invitingly and begs the Boro player to nod it home. Instead he reels in his neck and lets it skim off him and fall harmlessly down to Schmeichel.

69 min: Leicester go close to taking the lead after winning a corner after a rare break. The ball is whipped into Ulloa, who can only connect with his shoulder from six yards to send the ball dribbling into Guzan’s arms.

67 min: Friend bundles his way in from the left flank and then drops his shoulder beautifully to send Simpson the wrong way. He sees a sight of goal and tries to bend it into the top corner but can’t get his foot round it. His shot, like this game, is an unlovely sight.

65 min: Boro are still very much on top here but with Negredo misreading the few crosses that have come his way the home side just don’t look like scoring. Leicester are choosing to do nothing.

64 min: There’s a huge roar as Friend and Ulloa clatter into one another in the kind of hefty 50-50 tackle not seen in the top-flight since Lee Cattermole’s hip injury some months ago. That’s how good this game is.

62 min: Friend rolls a lovely ball into the corridor of uncertainty but Negredo, never one to look like he’s in much of a hurry, does a fine impression of Ulloa a minute or two earlier and watches it drift across goal.

60 min: The first 60 minutes of this game has been a visually convincing argument for those in favour of a winter break.

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57 min: Fabio decides to inject a bit of dangerous fun into the game and chips over an approaching Leicester player to Traore not far outside his own box. Traore makes a meal of controlling it and Leicester win the ball back much to Karanka’s chagrin.

54 min: Mahrez slides the ball down the left-channel to King who, on the overlap, pings a dangerous ball across the six-yard box that Guzan can’t reach. It needs a poacher to gamble on it. But Leicester don’t have one of those on the pitch today. Both Ulloa and Okazaki hang back and pass up the chance to put their team 1-0 up.

52 min: Leicester are absorbing Boro’s pressure comfortably but when they look primed to break they are sorely lacking Vardy’s pace in attack. When Mahrez gathers the ball he has no one who can break out of a enthusiastic jog ahead of him.

50 min: Traore does a dance and fools no one before hitting the ball against Fuchs. He’s attracting two players over to him now, though. It could be that a switch of play over to the left could undo Leicester if Ranieri’s side become too fixated on Traore’s threatening pace.

49 min: A bright start here from Boro. They win a corner but Ramirez’s ball into the box is cleared at the near post.

47 min: Boro enjoy a good spell of possession and Friend and Ramirez combine well to work the ball down the left flank and then into midfield, where the ball is popped out to Traore. He beats Fuchs for pace (of course) and drifts a better ball into the box. Leicester head it clear and Friend clatters a low shot at goal that Schmeichel gathers into his chest.

45 min: It’s the second half. Leicester win a throw-in on the left. Fuchs Rory Delaps hurls it into the box but Boro clear.

If anything good is going to happen in this game it will be as a consequence of something Traore or Mahrez does. For all the lactic acid-affected huff and puff on display among many of the players, those two are the brightest by far.

They’re showing a collection of Adama Traore highlights and lowlights. When he beats a man he is so jaw-droppingly quick he gives himself almost too much time to consider his cross. If he had just half a yard he’d have a marker to bend the ball around. He’s actually too fast. If he ever slows down, he’ll be very, very good.

He does have a touch of the Tony Daley about him.

And if you want to follow the team news and buildup to the 3pm kick-offs, join Barry Glendenning here:

There’ll be more of this after the break I’m afraid. In the meantime, if you want excitement, read this …

45 min: Ulloa levers Friend out of the way and then trundles off into a thicket of Boro defenders, soon finding himself lost and without the ball.

44 min: If this first half is a sign of what is to come in 2017, we can expect nothing to happen. Nothing.

42 min: Mahrez starts to flicker to life with a douple-lollipop spritely run at goal that comes to nothing … and then a long-range shot that Guzan saves comfortably. A moment later, he bursts away from Clayton in midfield and Gibson, knowing that Boro’s defence has been left light, cynically clips Mahrez’s feet and takes a booking.

40 min: “Hi Gregg,” writes Kevin Ryan. “Re the 34th minute, I think you’re being a bit hard on Traore, I mean, any clown can pick out one of three of your own blokes in the box but picking out the programme seller. Well …”

38 min: Leicester hoik a long ball forwards. Okazaki takes a wonderful touch and slips Mahrez in down the right channel. He looks primed to strike at goal but Fabio, who has been very impressive so far, slides in brilliantly and hooks the ball away from the Algerian. That was a fantastic tackle.