Fake Movie Products You Can Buy
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Fake Movie Products You Can Buy

Fake Movie Products You Can Buy

Awesome Alert: Introducing Your Favorite Movie Products, Available For Purchase In Real Life

Have you ever been watching one of your favorite movies when you came across a fictional product and thought to yourself, “Man, I wish that were real”? Well, thanks to a growing market centered around the defictionalization of pop-culture wares, there’s a good chance that the next fake product you see, might actually be real.

Remember Sex Panther? Well, next time you need musk up before doing the no-pants-dance you can slather up with the same brand of cologne used by everyone’s favorite sexist news anchors. We like to think it smells better than it did in 1970s San Francisco. 

Turns out the same company that started manufacturing a real-life version of Sex Panther also makes a manly bar of Fight Club soap. No word on the website if it’s made the same way as in the movie...but we do know it contains electrolytes, caffeine and punching!

So what else has Omni Consumer Products converted from fiction to reality? Well, besides their name, which they literally took from RoboCop — nice!, they’ve also got the snacking front covered with Stay Puft Marshmallows (the bite-sized ones, not the city destroying terrorist kind), and Idiocracy’s trademark energy drink, the Thirst Mutilator - Brawndo

And OCP’s hardly the first company to utilize this tactic. Remember your childhood favorite, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Yep, the one that traumatized a generation of kids. Well, it was also a feature-length commercial that Quaker Oats commissioned to help launch their first candy bar, and over 40 years later we still have a whole line of delicious, if not hallucinogenic, candy from Willy Wonka.

What else did we get from the movies? If you’re an Anaheim Ducks fan, you can thank Disney’s 1992 classic The Mighty Ducks. True story. And if you’re a movie fan, and let’s face it, you made it this far into a video about movie products that became real so — yep, there’s the movie Machete which was based on the fake trailer that appeared in the Tarantino/Rodriguez double-feature Grindhouse, and even the upcoming Batman vs. Superman was teased as an actual movie in the 2007 adaptation of I Am Legend. There it is.

Here’s a fun game you guys can play — Google search Movie Jacket Replicas and see how long it takes you to max out your credit card! Off the very first result you can get the scorpion jacket from Drive, or the sweet red leather jacket from A Place Beyond the Pines or the leather jacket from Blue Valentine. Basically, you can get any jacket Ryan Gosling has ever worn. Which is great because most of these jackets are way cooler than the ones you see in the department stores and the rest are really expensive Halloween one-offs. You can’t just wear a "Thriller" jacket whenever.

What’s great about defictionalization is that you never know what spurious item will become a pop-culture crossover reality, I mean it could be something as simple as a plain, red stapler like the one Swingline mainstreamed after it appeared in Office Space. It’s that random. So with that in mind, here are my humble suggestions for what we should manufacture next:

Slusho! — JJ Abrams' faux refreshing slush with its quote-unquote special ingredient. This super-addictive beverage has popped up in most of Abrams work including Star Trek, Super 8, and Cloverfield. Makes you wonder if they’ll have it in a galaxy far, far away.

Heisler Beer — This ubiquitous movie and TV brew is manufactured by prop-maker Independent Studio Services and is predominantly used when characters are doing drunken things onscreen that popular beer companies don’t want to be associated with. But if it’s good enough for Michael Cera in Superbad then it’s good enough for me.

Not that we condone smoking in any way, but if Quentin Tarantino’s Red Apple cigarettes were real, I’d start smoking. That would be some legitimate fan currency right there. Like a lot. Pack a day kinda thing. And you can tell Tarantino’s proud of this brand because it appears in Pulp Fiction, From Dusk Till Dawn, Four Rooms and Kill Bill.

While we’re talking about things that are flat-out dangerous but still awesome, the brain-boosting drug NZT from Limitless would be nice have as would a non-murdering version of David 8 from Prometheus. He would really have to not be a deceptive murderer though, that’s a dealbreaker.

And of course we can’t forget the holy grail of fake movie products - and that is of course the hoverboard from Back to the Future II. I have faith in this one. They still have time to get this done and I want to live in a world where this happens in 2015 whether it’s safe or not.

I guess while we’re at it, I’ll take a tin of Dapper Dan pomade — I just like the way it sounds and I’ll admit part of me has always wanted to taste a nice tall glass of warm, blue Bantha milk.