There comes a point in any vibrator addict’s life, when you just you stop feeling embarrassed about stocking up on batteries. Bulk-buying AAAs is pretty normal for any vibe mega fan, and I say that with zero judgement BTW, because I am one (or used to be, at least) myself.
My girlfriend and I have a great sex life sans batteries. But before I met her, I realised I needed to change my relationship with my wonderfully romping rabbit. I was becoming just too damn reliant on it.
I’ve always been of the ‘an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away’ mindset and, when I wasn’t having regular sex, I’d be masturbating most days. Ever since my 19-year-old self discovered the power of a good pair of rabbit ears, my masturbation routine has just consisted of me grabbing a pair of headphones and a vibrator, flopping down on the bed, and going to town. But after so many years of vibrator use (pretty much daily) I started to worry I was becoming desensitised to it. I was para that my own little orgasm helper could have turned into an orgasm crutch, or even an addiction.
Can vibrators actually cause numbness?
Firstly, I wanted to understand if vibrator addictions were all in my head or if they were actually a thing. As far as the science goes though, the jury’s still out. There’s anecdotal evidence of vibrator use causing problems: "I've talked to many women who have been single for a while and use vibrators by themselves and then have a really difficult time orgasming any other way,” Karen Stewart psychologist specialising in sex therapy, told Cosmo US.
But research from the University of Indiana found only 16.5 percent of vibrator users experienced genital numbness - and that usually passed within a day. In fact, they found that vibrator use was usually linked to greater sexual function. They also suggested other forms of sexual stimulation, like cunnilingus and penetration, could cause equal numbness. I was stumped. I’d never experienced numbness myself, but still felt like I was just too used to motorised stimulation, and anything else wasn’t quite having the effect it should.
So what does it all mean? Basically: it’s down to you. If you feel like you’re becoming too reliant on sex toys, then you probably are - if only because once that thought’s in your head it’s going to be a toughy to get rid of. A lot of being able to orgasm is in your mindset, after all. And if you’re worried, taking a break can help ease your mind. But I have to tell you, it isn’t easy.
How I kicked the habit
In short: with a lot of frustration and basically feeling annoyed AF for a while. It’s not that I don’t love masturbating without a toy (or as I like to call it, ‘playing acoustic’), but my vibrator had just become such a habit. I found I could orgasm without it, but it felt like it took forever, so sometimes I gave up halfway through. That had never happened before… I’m committed to my orgasms. And whereas I would only sometimes watch porn when I was using my vibrator, I found myself always watching it without one. It was like I needed that extra component to take the place of my favourite toy.
Masturbation was normally my ‘me time’ and a way to reset. I may have never been the kind of woman who gets the candles out and dims the lights to treat herself, but even with my sweatpants and a half-off bra covered in stains, it was still my happy place. After I gave my vibrator up, masturbation felt almost like a chore. I would get tetchy, distracted, and even sometimes a little bored.
Getting over the hump
Luckily, that feeling passed. I skipped a couple of days I would have normally masturbated, because it suddenly felt like more effort. But on the days I did, my vibrator stayed in its drawer. And within a couple of weeks, I was a whole new woman. Well, at least a woman who loved masturbating again, even when batteries were not included.
Sure, it was frustrating at first. Really frustrating. But I actually came to like the fact that I didn't go from zero to OMG in two minutes or less. The longer it took to build up, the stronger the orgasms were when I actually got there. Like really effing strong. And taking my time meant that I really, really appreciated them. Not only that, you know those weird dud orgasms? The ones where you're not really sure what just happened? Since I started taking my time, I haven't had a single one. All mind-blowing, all the way!
My favourite toy’s still kicking around, but now I save it for special occasions. It turns out when you don’t use them all the time, vibrators are incredibly intense - in the best way. So if you love yours and have no problem using it all the time, keep on vibing. But if you worry you’re a little too used to it, take a break. Sure, it’ll be frustrating for a while - but you’ll reap some rewards on the other side. Some insanely intense, mind-blowing rewards.
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