Are You Hiding Your Emotion? Learn How to Fully Engage Your Customer

Jeff Shore Buying the Experience

The following is an excerpt from Jeff Shore’s forthcoming book:
“Buying the Experience: Real Life Lessons About the Way Real People Buy Homes”

Many years ago, my wife and I wanted to get a dog but we were unsure about which breed was right for us. We did a great deal of research before deciding on the Jack Russell Terrier. We thought this would be a good match for our lifestyle.

It will be helpful to understand that I have a history of both questionable choices and self-destructive behavior!

Having done our extensive homework, we began our search to find the perfect dog. We scoured websites. We visited breeders. We went to dog shows. We talked to Jack Russell owners.

We knew to look at the markings, at the length of leg, at the barrel of the chest, and at the general disposition. We were the proverbial “sophisticated buyers.”

But we bought Charlie for one reason. When I held him for the first time, he licked my nose.

It was all over.

For all the research and all the education, after all the logic and all the analysis, we made a completely emotional decision.

That’s nothing compared to what your customer goes through when deciding to buy a home. It is the biggest financial commitment of her lifetime and it involves an intricate web of details and analysis.

Nonetheless, the home buyer is an emotional being who makes emotion-based choices.

This reality breeds a particular brand of conflict when it comes to viewing homes. Too often, customers believe they must analyze homes in a strict business-only mode and keep their emotions in check.

They approach home viewings from the logical side of their brain, and they work hard at keeping their emotions hidden from the salesperson.

So why do so home buyers hid their emotions?

I believe the answer to that question is both simple and profound: They have been trained to do this!

They learn to mirror the dry, unemotional approach of far too many salespeople. They adhere to an unspoken assumption that if they show emotion, they will be taken advantage of or misunderstood. They feel that they don’t have permission to become emotionally engaged.

It’s just not what one does in such settings, as per the many professional (aka: detached) salespeople they have encountered over the years.

It is exceedingly difficult and downright uncomfortable for a buyer to exceed the “emotional altitude” of a salesperson. Even if a buyer feels genuinely excited and emotionally drawn to a home, if you, the salesperson, are not showing a level of emotion or excitement anywhere near a customer’s level of engagement, she will downplay her feelings.

To a certain degree, buyers match the emotional tone a salesperson sets.

Consider the internal battle that rages unseen. It is very much akin to our high school days: “Oh man… there she is… I really like her, but I have to play it cool so she can’t tell!” While entirely understandable in 10th grade, this kind of thinking is ridiculous and wholly unnecessary when it comes to home buying. In fact, it robs everyone of the joy in the process.

You have the privilege and the responsibility to create a relational environment in which your customers feels safe to express their feelings about any home you show them.

All of the ingredients for your customer’s fall-in-love moment might be there, but if you have not shown some emotion yourself—if you haven’t set a tone of transparency—you won’t get to see that magical moment because you have not earned the right to do so.

You may miss out on the moment (and even the sale) because your customer doesn’t believe she has permission to show you how she really feels.

Don’t be a “murderer of love!” (That will only make sense if you have seen the movie, Dan in Real Life, which I highly recommend.)

Get real, get emotional and get ready to change someone’s world!

Want to learn more about creating emotionally influential experiences with your home buyers? Click the image below to pre-order my new book “Buying the Experience: Real Life Lessons About the Way Real People Buy Homes” and I will send you a FREE preview chapter along with BONUS video training lessons!

Jeff Shore Buying the Experience Real Estate Sales Training

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About the Author: Jeff Shore

Jeff Shore is the Founder and CEO of Shore Consulting, Inc. a company specializing in psychology-based sales training programs. Using these modern, game-changing techniques, Jeff Shore’s clients delivered over 145,000 new homes generating $54 billion in revenue last year.