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Nair Introduces New Incendiary Oil For Controlled Burn Of Bikini Zone

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EWING, NJ—Hailing the product as the most effective means of removing unwanted body hair, the makers of Nair introduced a new incendiary oil Friday specially formulated to produce a controlled burn in the bikini area. “The new Nair Firebreak system couldn’t be easier to use—just apply the flammable spray, ignite it with an ordinary match or lighter, and watch as that unsightly hair is consumed by flames in no time,” said Church & Dwight Company representative Tina Soto, adding that the oil comes with a small trenching tool to prevent the burn from spreading to other parts of the body. “Repeat as needed until the hair is charred to the roots and reduced to a fine mixture of ash and cinders. Then simply dig out that residue and enjoy the new, smoother you!” Soto went on to say that in rare instances where the fire could not be confined the pubic area, it would likely burn itself out in a few weeks once it ran out of fuel.